I’ve gotten several emails such as, “…my boyfriend is ignoring me and it hurts…”, “…my boyfriend is ignoring me what should i do to handle this?”
Now, that is not to say only guys ignore in relationships; girls do too.
True love means a whole lot of things to different people.
However, when two people are in love they long to be with each other, they can stare endlessly into each other’s eyes and they just can’t wait to see each other’s call or text.
If these are what happens when one is in love, then is it true that true love is when he ignores you? Well, the answer can be a YES or a NO, depending on several factors to be considered in this post.
Before now, you’ve had this perfect picture of your charming prince, who will kiss the ground you walk on and whose heart will always crave for you. Then, he finally finds you, but it seems your love life is not as you envisaged it to be.
Like, it’s been weeks, months, or years you met each other and he is now giving you cold shoulders.
He barely replies to your chats, he ignores your calls, literally he just ghosted you.
You are downcast because you can’t understand the reason for his recent behavior towards you. For this reason, you have a myriad of questions running through your mind. Yeah, you may have asked yourself or a friend questions like; if a guy ignores you does that mean he likes you, or is it true that true love is when he ignores you? You may also start to wonder “do guys test you by ignoring you?”
The answers you seek are not far-fetched, as you read on you will find what to make of the silent treatment he’s been giving you.
True Love Is When He Ignores You; How True Is That?
I know you’re probably asking “why do guys ignore you if they like you ?” You are not to first to ask such question. However, we’ll critically look into why guys flirt then ignore you.
Have you ever been ignored by your parents when you craved their attention?
How did you feel? Did you resort to depression or did you make excuses for their action by just thinking “maybe they are too busy to give me their attention?”
Your parents may truly love you, but they may have several reasons for ignoring you, which might be due to their busy schedule, they have some personal issues going on in their lives, or you communicated wrongly to them about your needs. Nevertheless, all of these don’t change their love for you.
Likewise, in a relationship finding answers to this question, “is it true that true love is when he ignores you?”, will depend on Certain justifications like;
1. How Long You’ve Known Each Other
Maybe he loves you, but you are just getting to know each other. He is yet to know what turns you on and what turns you off. Yeah, he might be afraid of being too intrusive and that explains why he doesn’t call often or doesn’t chat you up often. However, if you’ve known him for some time and he suddenly starts ignoring you, then it might not be true love after all.
Ignoring you shouldn’t be interpreted as love in this situation. By ignoring you, he is trying to pass a message that might be detrimental to your self-esteem.
2. He Longs For Your Attention
He wants more from you, but you are not giving him enough attention. Therefore, he resorts to ghosting you to see if you long for him as much as he does for you.
Furthermore, he must have noticed your declining interest in him, because he does all the show of affection without you reciprocating any.
Hence, by giving you the silent treatment he is trying to know how much you want him and the value you place on your relationship with him.
3. How Have You Been Communicating?
The advancement of technology has made communication easy. However, most people are not used to these modern means of communication.
Some men would prefer calls or chats, others won’t like any of those, but love meeting you in person.
Therefore, if your man falls within the category of those that are not used to calling or texting someone, but prefers having an in-person conversation with you, then definitely he will be ignoring your calls or chats for this same reason.
Regardless, you are in luck because he still loves you, you both just have to create more time to see each other.
4. The Distance Between You Two
When there is a great distance between you and your partner, you likely might not get tired of pondering on questions like is it true that true love is when he ignores you?
Yeah, you will have lots of questions and doubts because you are not with him in person. Maybe he lives in another country or city that’s different from yours, and that creates a communication gap between you two.
On several occasions, you’ve tried reaching him through calls or texts, but all was futile. So, you’ve concluded that he is ignoring you, even though he’s still in love with you.
Ignoring your calls might be due to situations he can’t control, it might be due to weather conditions or other environmental factors.
Related Post: What Guys Look For In Relationship
What to Do When A Guy Ignores You But Still Likes You
Love is an action word. It does not exist in a vacuum, it is seen in one’s actions.
Most men are bold with their feelings for their love interests; they are willing to throw caution to the wind to profess their love to the one whom they find worthy of their love.
Nonetheless, a man’s love for a woman can be complicated at times. I mean, how do you explain a man’s love for a woman who doesn’t reciprocate his love, or a man being crazily in love with you but decides to ignore you. Yeah, what happens when a guy ignores you but likes you? Do you wait patiently for him to do the needful? or do you react to his behavior by asking is it true that true love is when he ignores you?
That said, here is some rationale behind when a guy ignores you but still likes you.
1. HE IS OVERWHELMED
When a guy ignores you but still likes you, he might be overwhelmed with the feelings he has for you. Probably, he is taking his time to figure out what he feels for you, whether it’s love or just a passing infatuation.
Furthermore, he might as well be thinking that the love you have for each other may be too good to be true. Like, he can’t believe he feels the way he does for you or the thought of you both being a couple is a reality he’s yet to accept. Therefore, he prefers to ignore you, while trying to understand the recent happenings in his life.
2. YOU ARE PLAYING HARD TO GET
Have you thought to know, when you ignore a guy how does he feel ?
Yeah, it’s likely you are making the entire process of loving you so difficult for him. He must have made several attempts to win your heart, but he just couldn’t break through the walls you’ve built over your heart.
Hence, he finds it comforting to ignore you and love you from afar.
3. HE IS TAKING HIS TIME
Studies have shown that 90 percent of men, who just got out of a toxic relationship, take their time to fall in love again.
When a guy ignores you but still likes you, there is a tendency he’s still dealing with the pain from his previous relationship. Perhaps, he had his heart broken by his ex and is yet to recover from the hurt. There is no doubt that he likes you. However, he is ignoring you because he is afraid of commitments or he is trying to protect his heart from further heartbreak.
4. HE FEARS REJECTION
He fears that you will hurt his ego when he makes his feelings known to you. Most men see a woman’s rejection as a sledgehammer that smashes their ego. They would rather ignore you, and still have their ego than profess their love and have their ego deflated.
5. HIS PERSONALITY GETS THE BEST OF HIM
Women are known to be shy when it comes to saying how they feel about someone. However, some men are also shy about their feelings. Yeah, most men are stuck for words whenever they set their eyes on the woman they love, they would grin from ear to ear without saying anything to you.
He might just belong to this category of men. He is ignoring you because the thought of telling you how he feels about you makes him uncomfortable.
6. HE IS FOCUSED ON OTHER THINGS
When a guy ignores you but still likes you, he might be interested in other things. It might be his career, business, family, projects, etc. Therefore, he sees having a love life as a big distraction, despite giving you the green lights initially.
Related Post: The Obvious Signs Of An Immature Guy
How To Get His Attention When He Ignores You Intentionally
If you are confused about how to deal with being ignored by someone you love, then you should ask yourself these two questions;
1. What made his attention deviate from me?
2. What presently has his attention?
By finding answers to these questions, you will know the right steps to take. Yeah, you don’t always have to ignore a guy who takes you for granted, rather try and know the reasons behind his action.
That said, here are some reasons why his attention deviated from you;
1. You hurt him either by your words or actions.
2. You are being too clingy.
3. You have not shown enough commitment.
On the other hand, here are some of the things that might have his attention;
1. His job.
3. A newly found hobby.
4. Another woman.
In the light of the above, here is how to get his attention when he ignores you.
1. Endeavor to find out from him what you did that hurt him so badly and that has kept his attention away from you. When you realize your mistakes, do not make excuses for your negligence. Rather, show that you are truly sorry for your actions by apologizing to him and by being more courteous and patient with him.
2. If he needs some space, please grant him his request. Perhaps, you barely give him time to be alone. Yeah, he can’t even make decisions independently without you interfering. His silent treatment might just be a way for him to have some breath of fresh air, cause you’ve suffocated him enough with your clinginess.
While at that, you can get busy with something else, you can go out with friends, learn more about yourself, travel the world, etc. When he sees you are no longer all over him but has gotten busy with your life, he will likely start longing for you.
3. Show your commitments to the relationship by telling him how much you love and appreciate him. You can do this by Surprising him with gifts, sending appreciation notes to him, and just getting to know him for who he is.
4. If his job, career, or personal issues has his attention, then you should ask him some questions like;
● In what ways will you love me to help you attain your career goals?
● I love that you are so dedicated to your job, would you mind telling me what you love about your job?
● You’ve been withdrawn lately, do you mind sharing your burdens with me?
Furthermore, you can plan a weekend trip, where you both get to unwind and renew your love for each other.
● Finally, if he has found love somewhere else, you will have to accept this truth and move on with your life.
Related Post: Proven Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
What To Do When Someone Ignores You
Being ignored by someone can be a traumatic experience. Consequently, you will start doubting yourself, the feeling of being unworthy or not good enough starts dominating your thoughts and the exasperating part is when you don’t know what to do when someone ignores you.
If this situation resonates with you, then do the following;
1. Look within yourself:
Search yourself to know if you are really the reason for his silent treatment towards you. Go further by getting to know if he’s truly ignoring you or maybe he’s occupied with lots of things. By looking within yourself, you will discover if his action was prompted by you. If you are the reason for his action, then you have to take the second step.
2. Communicate to him:
Find a means to articulate your grievances to him. Let him know how much his actions have affected you. More so, get to know what has been going on in his life and if there are adjustments you will have to make to get back his attention, then go ahead and do it. Listen attentively to his reasons and make your conclusion.
3. Examine his motives:
Weigh the reasons for his action. Are they justifiable enough to continue the relationship with him/her or are they just excuses that hold no water?
Your findings will determine if you will ignore him/her also or if you will continue the relationship with him /her.
4. Get busy:
Whatever might be your findings, self-love remains crucial.
Take time to love yourself more, grow, learn and appreciate those that still give you attention.
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How To Ignore A Guy That Ignores You
A relationship becomes unhealthy when love and attention are not reciprocated.
When it becomes glaring that you have been ghosted, you will be saving your heart from further heartache by severing your ties with him.
This might be hard, especially when you already have this connection with him. You will be bothered with questions like, Will he leave me alone if I ignore him?
The truth is, a great way to ignore a guy who takes you for granted is by ignoring him also.
You deserve better. Your self-worth and Mental Health can’t be jeopardized for his sake. Yeah, You will be prioritizing your self-worth by just knowing how to ignore a guy that ignores you.
1. State What You Want
You may like to ask yourself these questions before deciding what to do next.
● Do I need to ignore him to get his attention back?
● Do I need to ignore him to forget totally about him?
Your answers to these questions will determine the extent you will go in ignoring him.
2. Do Not Hide Your Feelings
Talk to a friend or a counselor about how you feel, do not keep it all inside. This will make you feel better and stronger to face the emotional trauma of being ignored and ignoring the one you once loved.
3. Be In Charge Of Your Emotions
Do not let your emotions get the best of you. It’s ok to cry, get angry or be depressed. But, do not let these feelings overwhelm you. Yeah, a rush of these emotions might spur you to say hurtful words to him, develop a deep hatred for him or even beg him and act all desperate for his love and attention.
More so, you will be sending the wrong message to him by being needy and desperate for love and attention. This will drive him farther from you and will also do more damage to your self-esteem.
4. Take The Bold Decision
If you’ve discovered he is purposely ghosting you because he’s fed up with the relationship. Then, make the bold decision of ending the relationship with him.
You can start by sending a short text message to him, this can take this form;
Lately, our relationship has taken a turn for the worse and there is nothing more we can do about it. However, it appears you have moved on and I will do the same as well.
Thank you for all the moments we had together and I wish you all the best in your endeavors.
More so, you can also block him on social media platforms and if you wish to delete his contact or whatever that reminds you of him, do not hesitate to do so.
5. Love Yourself More
When a man ignores you, ignore him back by getting on with your life, pampering yourself more, dating a new guy (If you’re ready for it), reading a book, hanging out with friends, getting busy with a hobby, changing your location, and just focusing on your happiness.
Furthermore, be more engaged in whatever will make you forget him and become more conscious of your growth and happiness.
When he discovers you are no longer interested in him, he will start missing you or even longer to be with you again. On the other hand, he might also not be bothered, because he must have moved on with someone else.
Related Post: How To Deal With Relationship Issues
When You Ignore A Guy, How Does He Feel?
You’ve finally given him a dose of the silent treatment.
Yet, your mind is not at rest because you are bothered about how he feels about your decision.
You wish you possess a kind of superpower that will enable you to read his mind and know his feelings. Yeah, you are probably bothered when you ignore a guy, how does he feel? This becomes a probing question especially when you are struggling to forget about him and move on with your life.
To satisfy your curiosity about his feelings, I have provided some answers to your question.
1. He feels you’re being vengeful:
When you ignore a guy, he will assume his actions got to you and you are trying to get back at him.
He may likely want to apologize, but his pride might get in the way and he won’t consider that. Rather, he would fold his hands and watch you go on with your vengeful mission, even when he feels guilty.
2. You crave for his attention:
He feels you are being such a cry baby. You know when a baby longs for his parent’s attention, he cries to communicate his needs.
In your situation, you are using the silent treatment to tell him that you long for his attention.
3. You no longer find him attractive:
He will perceive you’re ghosting him as a way of telling him that you are no longer attracted to him.
Yeah, he is no longer the hot guy that gave you the butterflies.
4. He feels skeptical:
When you ignore a guy, he becomes unsure of his feelings. He will start contemplating if letting you go is the best decision or maybe the relationship deserves another shot.
He gets that wave of nostalgia, whenever he goes through your chats with him or ponders on the moments you had together. It becomes worse, when his texts and chats are ignored or when you avoid seeing him.
5. He thinks you’ve moved on:
Your ignoring his chats, texts, calls and blocking him on all social media platforms implies that you have moved on with your life. He will conclude that you’ve gotten busy with someone else and have forgotten about him.
More so, he gets jealous whenever he sees you with another guy and the mere thought of you not thinking about him anymore or yearning for him deflates his ego.
Related Post: How To Make Your Partner Love You More
The uniqueness of human nature makes us love differently. We also understand love differently, what one person sees as true love might have a different meaning to another person.
So, what do you say about true love? is it true that true love is when he ignores you?