This is What Ghosting Says About You And The Ghoster In A Relationship (2023)

what ghosting says about you

Imagine being in a relationship with someone you adore. Someone you’ve had intimate moments with and been vulnerable with.

Then all of a sudden, communication ceases.

You have reached out a dozen times yet, your phone calls are not returned.

No, you are not guessing.

Your partner is online.

He even responded to a recent post.

Still, your messages are ignored.

Sleepless nights roll by as you keep asking yourself, “What did I do wrong?”

Nothing much; you have only been ghosted.

Ghosting In Relationship

Ghosting In Relationship

Ghosting is a popular term used in romantic relationships. In fact, many kids and teens these days are familiar with the term. However, it cuts across different kinds of relationships.

Since ghosting is popular, you probably want to join in, but before following the crowd, it’s important to consider what ghosting says about you.

When you ghost someone, you are simply saying: you feel uncomfortable about ending a relationship with someone, and you’re afraid of a confrontation. So you want to save each other the trouble by disappearing without notice.

You probably think it’s a noble thing, but what ghosting says about you is different.

You see it’s “uncool” to ghost.

Ghosting shows a lack of respect for your partner’s feelings. It also makes you look immature and insensitive.

It may even give you a power shot. But while it seems the least stressful route to put an end to a relationship, there are more mature ways to go about it.

Your behavioral patterns will determine what Ghosting says about you. If you had done it before, there is a higher chance you will repeat it.

Your future relationships may also be impacted because you will give off the vibe you are unable to commit to a relationship.

In fact, when you ghost someone, it tells them:

1. You are a coward

If you have the gall to join a relationship, you should have the courage to tell your partner when you’re done. Leaving your partner without an explanation is tantamount to cowardice.

2. You are fickle

You are likely to ghost when there are other options. Plus, it shows you do not want to be in a committed relationship. You are constantly attracted to others, and because you do not want to break up with your current partner, your ghost. This shows you are an unstable person. Here, there, and nowhere at the same time.

3. You are immature

You are afraid of confrontations. You are not bold enough to speak your mind. This is immaturity. If you do not deal with this, your next relationships will be badly affected.

4. You have a poor mindset

You probably ghost because of some limiting beliefs you have about relationships. If you think relationships cannot last forever so you ghost, you could be dealing with abandonment issues. If you feel your partner is too good for you, you could be insecure.

5. Your interests are not genuine

If you are emotionally invested in someone, you will not leave that person high and dry. So if you ghost someone, you show you were interested for the wrong reasons. Even if your reasons are superficial, leaving because you lack interest does not cut it.

Related Post: How To Get His Attention Back When He Ignores You

What Does Ghosting Someone Mean?

Now, you may be asking, what does ghosting someone mean? From the introduction, you probably have an idea or two of what ghosting is. Still, let’s look at it more in-depth.

Ghosting is the act of ceasing contact with someone. It is ending every form of communication with someone without giving headups or justification, without the intention of reaching out to that person.

This term, also known as icing or simmering, was first used in the early 21st century, especially about romantic relationships.

This term became increasingly popular 10 years later as people started using dating apps and social media.

Am I Being Ghosted or Is He Busy?

Days and weeks must have rolled by without any discussion between you and your guy. While being concerned, you may not want to suffocate him with worry but your mind is still plagued with the question “Am I being ghosted or is he busy?”

There is this saying, you are never too busy for what is important to you and that’s a fact.

If you desire something badly, you will go all out to get it. Sure there are exceptions like when he is experiencing a huge challenge, but if that is not the case, then there is a chance you have been ghosted

How Many Days is Ghosting?

It is a human desire to be memorable. No one looks forward to being forgotten. It does not matter how long it is.

Depending on your relationship, you may need to find out how many days is ghosting so you can determine if you are bring ghosted on not.

On a general note, ghosting ranges from 3 to seven days.

This depends on many factors, but majorly on two periods of your relationship:

1. The early stage

If you are at the early stage of a relationship, and probably just getting acquainted with this guy. You both may be sharing a few messages and calls here and there.

If he stops responding to your messages, you will find yourself concerned. Since you both do not know each other well, he may not be so open to you.

Do not expect too much from him. Do not even hang around waiting for his message. If you feel you have been ghosted at this point, let him go.

2. The established stage

At this stage, you have something serious with this guy. If you were frequently exchanging messages and calls, it is easy to know when there is a drop in communication.

For example, if he usually responds in a few hours and he does not show up in two days, that is a sign something is off. If he gives a legitimate excuse, you may have nothing to worry about. But if there is no change, then you may have been ghosted. Even if he replies, do not expect him to sound as if he is still into you.

Related Post: Serious Breakup Texts Messages

What Ghosting Says About You And The Ghoster

What Ghosting Says About You And The Ghoster

There are many things ghosting communicates about the two parties involved. Although it is more about who ghosts you, ghosting brings to light a couple of things about yourself.

This is not set in stone as it differs from one person to another.

Nevertheless, here is what ghosting says about you and the Ghoster and how you can deal with this:

1. You both were not clear on expectations

You may have wanted a fling but your partner wanted something serious. Not having clear expectations gave the ghoster clear grounds to ghost.

2. You do not know your attachment style

If you have an insecure attachment style, it is possible you were too emotional in your relationship. Your constant outbursts and anxiousness may have given room for him to ghost.

3. You may have some toxic behavior

If you have some unbearably bad traits, your partner may take advantage of this to ghost. Nobody wants to be around someone with a bad character.

Related Post: Signs He/She Is Emotionally Immature

What To Text After Being Ghosted

If you have finally realized that the person you care about shows no inclination of reaching out to you, your first tendency may be to send an angry text. You may even ponder on what to text after being ghosted.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Hello, how are you doing? It’s been forever.

Sometimes, a calm response that does not mention ghosting works. Asking open-ended questions shows you are mature, and not panicking (even if you did).

If you do not get a response, you could move on from there. But if you did, you could use the next option to increase conversation.

2. Hi, I thought we had something going. We seemed amazing together, but you just disappeared. If there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m here.

If you have felt deeply connected with this person, probably to the point of saying I love you, being ghosted will come as a shock.

It is okay to let the person know how much you enjoyed his company however, keep in mind that this text shows your vulnerability. You may or may not like his reply.

3. I haven’t heard from you in a while. I’m done with this.

This could also be a personal confirmation for you. This statement lets him know you have noticed his behavior, did not approve of it and you have chosen to move on with your life. You could delete or block the person’s number afterward.

4. I’m going to the movies tomorrow with my guys. It would be nice to see you again.

Replace movies with the actual activity you are going to. Make sure you are not baiting the person to talk to you.

This statement lets the person know you want to talk to him again. Some people feel freer with others around. If there is no response, move on.

5. We had a really good time, but some communication is needed.

Stating what you want is important. This statement is ideal for those who enjoyed themselves but want to be texted more often. If you both had a blast, this could trigger a response from the person.

6. Dishonesty is a turn-off for me.

Confrontations are uncomfortable. Letting someone know how disappointed you are is hard. Still, it is important to let your ghoster know how much he hurt you. So, put yourself first.

7. I thought things would work out with us. Sadly, it didn’t. Could you let me know why?

This is risky, for two reasons. One, you are being vulnerable. And two, you are showing your willingness to get the person back.

If you feel uncomfortable with this, simply ask what happened instead. You could indicate you want closure.

8. We are likely to meet at some point. Stay away from me.

If you and the ghoster are in an environment where you will meet, it is better to set clear boundaries. It does not matter if you are on the same team.

9. We are adults. Why are you treating me this way? Anyway, have a great life.

If you want to guilt-trip the person, a message like this is perfect.

10. You’ve chosen to stay away from me. It’s fine. Have a great life!

Many times ghosting is about the ghoster, and not you. If you want to finally shut out the ghoster, you could play on that person’s obvious decision.

11. It’s obvious we aren’t going anywhere like this.

12. If I’ve upset you, you could have been direct about it. Anyway, it’s in the past. Bye!

This will let him know you did not expect his childish behavior but you are over him.

13. I thought we could build something together. Thanks but no thanks.

This will let the person know you had hope, but you have gotten his memo: he is not interested in you.

14. Ghosting hurts. I hope this isn’t repeated.

This lets the person know what you think, and your hope that this is not a habit.

15. This disrespect is too much. I won’t tolerate it anymore.

Ghosting can be disrespectful, especially when romantic emotions are involved. This message informs him of how you feel and the fact you deserve more than this.

16. I’m not surprised.

You may have been ghosted in the past and had dealt with this, or you may have suspected his intentions were not noble. Let him know you cannot be toyed with emotionally.

17. I won’t assume you are not busy with life. But I get it you are too busy for me. If and when you see this message, know that I’m in a better place. Goodbye!

This straightforward message informs the ghoster that you are not attached to him anymore.

18. I just want to let you know I’m officially ending this with you.

This is perfect if you need closure. You are simply telling the person you know he is ghosting you and you will not get played like this again.

19. It was great for a time. Know that I regret having to end this way. Have a wonderful life!

This shows your disappointment and indicates you are not angry about his behavior.

20. Ghosting isn’t cool. Texting back isn’t hard you know.

If the ghoster responds and tries to justify his behavior, let him know you will not accept any excuses or be emotionally misled again.

Related Post: Messages To Express Displeasure To Him/ Her

Do Ghosters Regret Ghosting ?

It depends. Although, in most cases, they do. While in some cases, they don’t. This is because they’ve already made up their mind that they are no more interested in the relationship.

However, on some occasions, the Ghoster may realize that he or she shouldn’t have let go of the other person; especially when the Ghoster realizes that the ghosted person has moved on. They may suddenly begin to miss the person they ghosted or feel jealous when they realized that the ghosted person has found a new lover.

For some who regret ghosting, they would attempt to come back again, hoping that the ghosted person would receive them back.

What To Say To Someone Who Ghosted You And Came Back

What To Say To Someone Who Ghosted You And Came Back

Many times, the ghoster realizes his error and tries to warm his way back. If you find yourself lacking what to say to someone to ghosted you and came back, I have some juicy best ghosting responses you can choose from.

1. I felt bad when you ghosted me, so we cannot continue as if nothing happened. I’m going to lay so ground rules, and I hope you understand my caution.

If you want to reestablish your connection with the ghoster, it is important to establish some boundaries otherwise you may be taken for granted and the action will be repeated.

Be clear on your expectations from the relationship, and the kind of commission you want to receive.

While this will not guarantee there will not be a ghosting repetition, it is crucial to express yourself and see how the other person reacts.

2. It’s been forever you reached out. What happened to you?

If you do not want to sound cold, you could begin by calling out the wrong act. This way, you will also get answers to why the person ghosted.

3. I’m happy you’re back. Let’s video call.

If you feel surprised by the sudden text, you could ask for a video call. This also provides the chance to converse in realtime and evaluate the person’s vibes.

4. I’m upset with you.

Stating clearly how you feel is not to force the person to apologize to you. Rather, you are acknowledging the hurt the person’s actions have caused you. You can decide what to do after the person has responded.

5. I hope all is but it’s over between us.

Sometimes, you do not want to continue the relationship. Therefore, it is better to end it once and for all.

6. I’m sorry okay. You were fun to be with, but I’m no longer connected to you.

It is always better to keep calm and be direct. To keep your peace, you could end the relationship in a friendly way.

7. I’ll keep talking if you are always in touch.

Let them know if they want to be in your life, constant communication is required.

8. This is not the first time you’ve done this.

Some people are only involved with you to relieve themselves of boredom. You are not an entertainment piece. So, refuse to be manipulated by their schemes.

9. Hey! You’ve been off. Hope you’re okay?

It is okay to show your worry. Sometimes people ghost for concrete reasons. Plus, you do not want to come off as judgemental.

10. I hate time wasters.

Being blunt with how you feel is important. Protecting your emotional boundaries is important and no one can do that for you except yourself.

11. I hate being ghosted. Never call me again.

If the person’s toxic behavior is getting to you, ending it is better. There is no point in continuing with someone who makes no effort to contact you.

12. I saw your message, but I’m not available for a chat. All the best.

If you have no intention of continuing with this person, a straightforward text like this seals the deal. Remember, protecting your peace is key

13. What will you do differently that will make me trust you again?

You may want to give the person another chance. By asking this, you want to see their intention in making things work out with you again.

14. We haven’t chatted in a while. What’s up with you?

You could say this to him you still feel interested in. Get to know the person’s reasons for ghosting.

15. No response

Sometimes the best response is no response at all. Answering the ghoster can lead you down the path of negativity you have buried. It could trigger your hurt again, and cause you to backslide on your boundaries.

16. Why are you talking to me again?

Rather than dilly dally, get to know the mind of the ghoster.

17. What? (One-word reply)

Show the ghoster no excitement. He needs to feel that you are unhappy about being ghosted. Make the ghoster get the impression you are uninterested in that conversation.

18. I’m dating someone else.

If you have committed to another relationship, you have to spell it out to the ghoster. Make it clear he cannot leave and then waltz into your life as if nothing happened.

19. Can I help you with something?

When someone you have been involved with disappears for no reason and returns, ask questions that require yes or no answers. That will force the person to give explanations.

This is not about making a conversation, but showing you do not need the person anymore. Asking if your help is needed is one way to show that.

20. Do I resemble a toy?

Let the person know you are a human with emotions. Only toys can be ghosted because they feel nothing. You are a person with feelings and you do not deserve any form of maltreatment.


Being ghosted is an emotionally draining experience. If you are not an emotionally intelligent person, you could easily take it to heart and become more depressed. Make sure to heal from this experience. Some people get deeply scarred about being ghosted that they unconsciously become ghosters. Refuse to fall into that trap. Remember, what ghosting says about you is never positive.