The term ‘Player’ is one word that has been used over and again in our world today. This is common in romantic relationships where we have people saying things like, “I never knew he was a player” or “she played me”.
Being a player is no longer attached to a particular gender, now we find both genders dishing out emotional torture by playing games with their partner’s emotions.
Most people just end up using the word Player without even knowing the meaning of the word. A player is anyone who is considered to be seeing multiple partners in a romantic relationship with or without your consent.
Usually, most players are emotionally fragile people who have been hurt by others and are scared to commit to anything serious. So they have zero consideration for your feelings.
We all have been in a situation where you fall in love with a player or have a romantic relationship with someone who is a player. Believe me, it can be emotionally draining and exhausting.
The signs are always there, but because maybe you are deeply in love with such a person you seem to want to overlook their behavior or make excuses for them.
No one deserves to be involved with someone who is not emotionally available to love you and respect you. In this write-up, I have carefully stated some cogent points for you to note. Like signs and things, a player will say to you. It is important to know these things so you prevent them from coming into your life.
Ever wondered how you even ended up dating a player? That’s because you weren’t even clear on the things you should have been looking out for.
If you knew the signs you should look out for, you will be sure to have quickly pointed out things a player will say to you even on your first date. With that, you would have been able to prevent yourself from emotional and mental stress.
If you’ve already found yourself in a relationship with a player and you are wondering, why your partner is acting all weird and not showing any signs of a commitment then follow me and read along cause I will be showing you how to know if a guy is playing you or likes you.
For my gentlemen you sure are not left out, just as I pointed out at the beginning of this write-up, the art of playing games in a relationship is not limited to one gender, it goes both ways!
A guy can be a player, which is common and, a lady can also be a player. It would be nice to point out signs of a player woman so you wouldn’t be wasting your precious time loving someone who isn’t ready to be loved.
You know as the saying goes, “prevention is better than cure”. It is better to detect a player from the very first day you are talking to them than being in a long-term relationship before suspecting you are being played.
Imagine the emotional torment and mental breakdown you would have prevented if you had done your homework properly on the first day. I am not here to apportion blame but to open your eyes to the truth.
If you ever discover at any point that your partner has been playing you, don’t just shut your door crying and blaming yourself, I have carefully compiled what to say to a guy who played you. Trust me to always have your back.
In some weird situations, not always, you will find a player falling for you. Weird right, I know. Usually, this is not common and it can also be very risky. I know we all believe players don’t usually have a heart and that is why they do what they do.
They don’t choose to be heartless and think of going around breaking people’s hearts on purpose or being negligent about their partner’s feelings.
Don’t get me wrong I am not putting in a word for players. Not at all. But like I pointed out earlier, most players are just fragile people who have been hurt, and in their defense or out of fear they choose not to commit to anything or anyone, again. Some might choose to be players out of peer pressure which is also a thing.
I know what you are thinking. “That is not an excuse to go around hurting people”. Of course, it is not. But sometimes when they really meet their soul mate, they also fall deeply in love and quit playing games. Just like I said it is risky, cause how can you tell if you are the lucky one or not? That is why I will be listing below signs a player is falling for you.
There are a whole lot of things to be discussed in this write-up so let’s get into it.
Related Post: Can A Man Sleep With Me And Not Love Me?
Signs And Things A Player Will Say To You
Does your partner have you raising doubts and suspicion about your relationship? Then you might be dating a player. Usually when you are in love with someone you really do not suspect or see signs early because love has clouded your mind.
Later in the relationship when you start to see signs and study their actions, then you might start putting two and two together to discover you might be sharing your love with a player.
This is not only devastating but upsetting as well. To a player, love is nothing but a game and they are not ready to play by the laid down rules. This makes it very easy for them to go ahead and hurt people’s emotions and feelings.
In this write-up, I need to show you possible signs and things a player will say to you. This will help prepare your mind so you can easily point out a player and avoid getting emotionally entangled with them.
Their actions are the direct opposite of their words: first on the list of signs to look out for in a typical player are their actions. Believe me, actions speak louder than voices. Players usually are big on words without backing them up with their actions.
They are always professing their undying love to you without even showing it. Their actions are always going to prove the direct opposite of everything they tell you. If your partner truly has a genuine love for you, their actions will prove it.
“I’m not your typical guy”: this is the classic player statement right there. Most times a player tries to convince you that they are not like other people you’ve met and they are different from everyone else.
This is accompanied by unbreakable eye contact with some fake sincere look. Always trying to go the extra mile to prove that their intentions are true in which case happens to be false.
You are probably not on their priority list: for a player, there are a whole lot of things on their priority which does not include you. Even if you happen to be on the list, you are far below another list of important things to them.
If you keep struggling to get your partner’s attention and they do not keep to appointments of spending quality time together with you, then this might be a sign that your partner is a player.
“Believe me”: a player will always strive to make you trust them at all costs, why? they always want to reassure you to clear any suspicion you might have. This is one of the phrases, a player will say to you constantly to earn your trust.
Trust is earned over time after the person has been tested and their word matches their actions. Genuine trust is not gotten from so many words and constant reassurance.
They prevent you from meeting their friends and family: just because he/she is playing games with you and not being faithful, a player will prevent you from meeting those that truly matter to them. Either because they know you are not the only one in their lives or that the relationship is just temporary without any future. Even when you meet some friends, they happen to be people into the same game as they are so it’s usually nothing serious.
Related Post: Obvious Signs It Might Be Time To Breakup
Things A Player Will Say To You
There are many things a player will say to you just so they can either win you over or when they have won you over, they try to make you not be suspicious of their games.
In today’s world, it becomes more challenging to fish out a player because they are becoming much more creative in their games.
But some phrases can still give them away. If you pay attention and do not get carried away by their sweet words, you can easily read between the lines. But most times, people get carried away and overshadowed with love that they forget these things.
Being observant and paying adequate attention can save you the entire drama and heartache. It is important that as you are going on dates and getting to know your potential partner, always analyze your conversations and their responses. With this, you can fish out red flags easily and flee as early as you need to.
1. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time”:
This is an amazing line that could easily sweep anyone off their feet. I mean we all want our partners to feel like we are the special someone they have been waiting for all their lives.
Sometimes this phrase can be genuine and trust me, it sparks a deep affection in you no matter how tough you might be. It could also be a pickup line for someone who is about to play you.
The trick is to always observe their actions after this sweet sensational statement because actions always speak loudest.
2. “I’m not really ready for a relationship now”:
If he/she is telling you this on your first date, please take that cue and move as fast as possible away from them no matter how sweet or amazing they might be.
If you don’t and you still manage to get them into a relationship when they aren’t ready for any serious commitment then you are setting yourself up for a total disaster. You cannot change someone except if they are ready to change.
3. “Let’s take it easy and not stress over labels”:
You have been going out with your partner and your relationship isn’t defined. The moment you call their attention that you both should have a proper definition for your relationship, they hit you with this statement.
Then you are left wondering if you are the one going too fast or even in too much hurry. Honey no! They are trying to avoid placing a label on your relationship so they can always have a right to treat it casually.
The relationship isn’t defined which gives them the right not to be fully committed and avoid the responsibilities and work that come with a serious relationship. As a matter of fact, the relationship is even opened to other people in which you can be introduced as ‘just a friend. You can’t blame them but yourself because you got carried away and refused to place a label on the relationship from the start.
4. “I have nothing to hide”:
Usually when you are dating a player no matter how smooth they are there will be signs that something isn’t right. When notice you are beginning to suspect they go out of their way to convince you that you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
They try to prove to you that they have nothing to hide just to win back your trust; meanwhile, they have a lot to hide.
5. “I’m busy”:
For a player, they always don’t have time for you. Want to know why, because you are not a priority to them and don’t occupy a central space in their heart. Usually, they are busy with other things and other people. When you try to spend quality time together with them or go on dates, they are never available and will always make up excuses to back it up.
Related Post: What It Means When A Guy Tells You So Much About Himself
How To Know If A Guy Is Playing You Or Really Likes You
For the ladies, I know most times it’s hard to really figure out what is going on in a guy’s head and what are his intentions for you. Unlike us ladies when we like someone and are genuinely interested in them, we are almost like an open book.
It is always easy to read because half of the time, it is written all over our faces. That can’t be said about a man, well not all of them.
Usually, a man tries to mask his emotions when they meet someone new, maybe out of fear of being vulnerable at first. But when they get comfortable with you, they loosen up a little.
With this, it is always difficult to tell if a guy is really into you or if this is just another game. Shortly, I will be showing you how to know if a guy is playing you or really likes you. With these, you will know if you are to continue to give him the green light or hit him with the red light.
- He doesn’t reveal much about himself:
If you are in a relationship or about to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t like talking about himself, then this might just be a red flag.
The joy of a relationship is having to share your thoughts, experiences, and literally everything about yourself with your partner. At the end of the day, you find out you know little or nothing about him. It’s through conversations you get to know each other better. Talking about your likes and dislikes, interest, and all you tend to bond well.
- Shielding his phone from you:
I know this is a huge conversation in today’s world. Tell me why anyone will have to shield their phone from you if they have nothing to hide. Imagine being with a partner who is always running into corners to pick up his calls, his phone has the password of an actual vault, always coding and being sneaky.
No one is saying that people shouldn’t have their privacy, but please if a guy truly likes you and is ready to be committed to you then he doesn’t have a problem with being open with you.No need sneaking around and shielding your phone or putting it on airplane mode to prevent your other flings from calling.
- He is always vague:
Usually, couples try to catch up on how their day was and communicate about their whereabouts.
If your partner is always vague about their whereabouts and simply just brushing it off like it doesn’t really matter where they’ve been or who they are with, then something is fishy. Most of the time you are the one trying to spend more time with them. And when you do, he flakes on you and makes up vague excuses about the reason why he can’t make it.
- He makes you feel crazy:
If a guy is really into you and not a player, he won’t make you feel crazy when you start to make assumptions or add two and two together. He believes your feelings are genuine and you have a right to be upset or ask for clarifications when things are not right.
Rather than just manipulate you into thinking you’re being unreasonable and overreacting, he will get you both to sit down and talk things through while making genuine efforts into changing.
- He doesn’t make an effort to set boundaries with other girls:
It is okay for a guy to have ladies around him, co-workers, normal friends, classmates, etc. When a guy has a harem of ladies around him more than guy friends and doesn’t even make an effort to set boundaries between him and them or establish that you are his woman, then this is a red flag. He probably just having flings with all of you at the same time and enjoying himself.
Related Post: Signs He Is Just Using You
Signs Of A Player Woman
Just as I have stated above, the game of playing is not limited to just the male gender alone as many people believe. Some ladies have mastered the art of playing games and are now experts at it.
This can be heartbreaking as the woman you love and are willing to protect is busy playing your heart like a game of Ping-Pong. There is nothing worse than you finding out that you are being played.
Want to know the signs of a player woman so you can easily spot her and avoid getting entangled with her? Happy to help! I have carefully highlighted these notable signs to look out for so you can skip the trap set for you.
• She initiated the relationship:
Most times, a female player usually initiates the relationship, maybe due to a bet or she was drunk, probably for some weird self-interest. Often when they do that, the lady is usually way out of your league in one way or another so they make it feel like they are doing you a favor being in the relationship in the first place.
They know they can easily do as they will and get away with it because you will do anything and everything within your power to not lose the relationship. Female players most times go for the men who are always in a vulnerable position to tolerate their excesses.
• Numerous male friends:
Just like the male players, female players keep a lot of male friends around them. Don’t get me wrong, it is not a bad thing for ladies to have platonic male friends, but when the number of male friends is unusually high, then there is a problem. Some of them might also be in the process of being played by her just like you.
• Keeping you a secret:
Does your partner keep you a secret from her friends and family? Then this could be a sign. When women get into a relationship, they are always quick to show off their partners or tell a friend about the new guy they just met. But if you notice that your partner is always trying to hide you from friends and family and not wanting to take pictures, it could be a sign that they are playing you or not even proud to associate themselves with you.
• Always wanting to have her way:
Paying close attention to your partner’s attitude when they don’t get what they want is another pointer. A female player is used to having her way, at all times and when they don’t, they get upset and start to manipulate you into feeling guilty until you oblige to their demands at the end of the day.
- She doesn’t even make any effort in the relationship:
If you notice you are the one always initiating conversations, calls, texts, and dates and she doesn’t even make any effort. Then you might be dating a player. Not only does she have total control over what happens in your relationship, but she makes minimum efforts in it just to reap maximum benefits. She knows she’s got you right where she wants you.
Related Post: Sample Of Messages For Someone Who Betrayed You
What To Say To A Guy Who Played You
The worse feeling in the world is the feeling of being used by a lover. If care is not taken one can feel shattered and your mental health affected. It is hard to not feel broken and stand up for yourself especially if you had genuine feelings for him.
The tricky thing about players is, if you are not firm enough and put your foot down about your decisions, you will be surprised they will find a way to wriggle themselves back into your life especially when they know you still have feelings for them. And then the torment goes on and on.
I understand that it can be difficult to find the words to say to the guy who used you and makes you feel less of yourself, but trust me I am here to help you with that. I have listed below a list of what to say to a guy who played you. This should help convey a piece of your mind to him.
1. To be honest, I am not surprised at your actions, it just goes to prove that you don’t deserve good things. This shows how unworthy of my feeling you were.
2. Only a boy will decide to play a lady who has true feelings for them. Real men don’t play women; it only proves you lack self-respect and discipline. Hope you get some soon enough.
3. Here I was thinking you were different as you claim, only for me to realize you still have a lot of maturing to do. Thank you for showing me your true color and proving how unreliable you are.
4. There is no award for being the best player; you just end up losing people who genuinely care about you. How I wish you dedicated your time to something much more productive, your life would have turned out better.
5. It’s just pathetic that you go everywhere showing how broken and damaged you are. It’s really not your fault but the person who hurt you. Despite this, you will get what’s coming to you.
Related Post: Signs Your Partner Is Not Right For You
Signs A Player Is Falling For You
Yes, I know you are beyond surprised at this statement. A player can’t play the games forever eventually some of them end up falling deeply in love, and if you are in luck it might just be with you.
This doesn’t happen often and can be risky because the game from inception is for you to fall for them while they don’t reciprocate the love and commitment. But they can also have a change of heart and fall in love with you genuinely.
In this write-up, I have carefully stated some of the obvious signs a player is falling for you. You can pick these points up, and examine your relationship to know if this one-time player is finally ready to drop the games and fully commit. Although you still have to be very watchful.
• They start to share more with you:
Often times a player keeps plenty of secrets and you don’t even know which is which with them. They are always hiding personal issues about their lives, family, friends, and past experiences. This is so that they are unpredictable and can’t be caught off guard.
But when you notice your partner begins to share more about them with you than they usually do, letting you in on their daily activities and details about their lives and whereabouts, then this could be a positive sign they might be into you or developing feelings for you.
• They start to show interest genuine interest in you:
A typical player doesn’t even care about you to start with. He or she just wants you around for some selfish reasons and is not ready to commit to you. But once you notice they start showing genuine interest in your wellbeing, your daily activities, your hobbies, family and friends, your career or business, then they might be falling in love with you. Why someone that truly loves you wants you to succeed in all areas of your life?
• They are ready to show you off:
Is your partner all of a sudden want to be seen around you always or wants to meet your friends and get to know a family member or two? Then this might be a sign. Someone who isn’t ready for anything serious they are not ready for such a bold step.
They always want to make up excuses to be absent from your family dinner or hang out with your friends. With this, they might even start showing you off to the people that truly matter to them both family and friends, and guess what, they place an actual definition on the relationship.
• They start to make a genuine effort to change:
If you and your partner have been having several rifts and they start making sincere efforts towards changing, then this could be a good sign. If they have other options and they start making efforts to cut off or place a boundary between them and those options they might actually have fallen for you.
A player will never eliminate his/her multiple options for anybody especially when you mean nothing to them.
• They become protective:
If your partner suddenly gets protective of you, this could mean they have feelings for you and is not ready to lose you to another person. As soon as they get the hint that they might lose you to someone else they get protective and might even start to commit to the relationship.
• They are willing to spend quality time together:
One thing a player will never do is have time for you. They are always bailing on planned outings and dates. They are either busy or something just seems to always come up. But when a player starts to develop feelings for you, the difference is clear.
They start initiating dates and trying to spend more time with you. This could be a sign in a positive direction that maybe; just maybe they are falling in love with you eventually.
Nothing is as complicated as love. The fact that you can’t predict the person you end up falling in love with makes it much more complicated.
How I wish humans have the ability to read minds, many of these heartbreaks and emotional trauma would have been prevented.
For some, they get lucky just at their first trial. While some others keep suffering heartbreaks until they finally meet the one.
When you finally experience the beauty of true love and it’s been reciprocated by your partner, that feeling can’t be compared to anything in the world.
The best option is before you get into any relationship, be very observant and pay close attention to signs and things a player will say to you. Don’t get too carried away.
Looking out for these signs is not just avoiding any future disaster but guarding your heart against suffering from too much damage. Believe me, you owe it to your heart to guard it jealously.