In this write-up, we will briefly consider what it means when a guy tells you personal things about himself. What on earth will make a guy not just desire to, but actually tell you personal things about himself?
Does it mean he is weak and not manly enough? Does it mean he is a she-man? Is he trying to win your heart over? What exactly does it mean?
You’ve probably had a friend who has told you something very personal about him or herself. When s/he did that, how do you think they felt? What do you think was the reason behind making themselves vulnerable to you by sharing personal things with you?
It will surprise you to know that the person whom you consider or regard as a very intimate or close friend might be hiding certain details about his or her life from you. Did it take you by surprise? Here is why.
The average human being seeks to have a defense of some sort to guard his life, most especially areas of his/her life that are grey. The average person doesn’t go around sharing personal details about them to whosoever as they won’t want to break down the walls of defense they’ve built around themselves.
And so, when a guy tells you personal things about himself, what does it mean? Let’s look at a few reasons behind this courageous and emotional act.
When A Guy Tells You Personal Things About Himself
#1. He Is Seeking For A Different Perspective
There are several angles to viewing a particular situation. Take for example a glass having water at the middle level can be addressed in two different ways by people all over the world. They either say it is half-full or half-empty. Either way, both parties recognize it as being half but perspectives differ in how they qualify the half.
A guy might be passing through a difficult time and seeks to take the view of another person on the matter. He may then choose to come to you believing he can take a glimpse from your point of view on a matter so personal to him.
He probably might have thought “I can’t be the only one passing through this..” “I think so and so might be able to help me from her point of view” “I think I don’t have to carry this burden all alone”. And so he comes to you and tells you something very personal.
At that instant, he might just be seeking a different perspective on what he’s going through and it will make him glad if you do just that.
#2. He Wants To Get Your Attention
Another meaning to a guy telling you personal things about himself can be to get your attention.
For instance, have you ever been in a situation where a speaker is trying to address an audience who seems not to be giving him full attention? What does he do to get their attention? He probably clears his throat before saying “what I’m about to say now is very important and not everyone knows this about me..”
What happens next? The whole audience becomes silent like a graveyard so much that you could hear a pin drop. In the same vein, when a guy perceives you are not giving your full attention to him, he, as a wise player in life’s game of cards, plays the card of telling you something personal about himself to win your full attention.
#3. He Values Your Opinion
Generally, when we share things bothering us with other people, it is because we value their opinion and count it reliable and worth leaning on.
When a guy tells you personal things about himself, it could be that he values your opinion and would like to hear your say on that matter.
Related Post: Is God Bringing Us Together?
When A Guy Shows You His Vulnerable Side
Everyone likes to look perfect in front of the other person or group of people. No one wants to show forth his flaws before the other.
This is all evident in the way we behave right from our appearance to the way we speak in public, our comportment in front of people, and so on. Everyone strives to look impeccable and harmless.
However, when a situation arises that exposes our flaws unexpectedly, the shame is quite painful especially when it is in the public.
Emotionally, men tend to be stronger than their female counterparts and as such, will not want to express any sign of weakness to them. Even when they are not on the pedestal they place themselves, they will still want to live as though they are there.
However, showing your vulnerability as a guy is in no way a sign of weakness but strength; especially to someone, you can trust.
When a guy shows you his vulnerable side, what does it then connote?
Firstly, when a guy shows you his vulnerable side, he is willing to let you into his world.
We all have our different worlds wherein we live and more often than not, we secure our world and don’t let any other person know the realities present in it. But breaking the jinx and taking this bold step on his part, brings you into his world.
It also promotes a lasting, healthy relationship between the both of you. You now know him better and beyond a superficial level. This will build trust and form a deeper bond between you.
Trust cannot be built without being vulnerable.
Also, exposing his vulnerability is a sign of really being sincere with you. Most of the time, we hold men in high esteem usually at a pedestal so high from where they are. This false impression that we hold of men is, to say the least, harmful and injurious to any true lasting, and profitable relationship.
As such, you must be willing and ready to face the facts. Is he really as I think he is? Is he also without faults? Is his past life really sweet and all rosy?
You must be ready to accept the truth and debunk every false impression you might have conceived in your mind. This will happen when he shows you his vulnerable side. At such a time, you must accept the fact for what it is.
What are some of the things you’ll notice when a guy shows you his vulnerable side?
Now to address this issue, you need to know that this can happen deliberately or as a matter of circumstance. But we will be looking at when it is deliberate and not by circumstance.
One of the things you will observe is nervousness or uneasiness. Exposing one’s vulnerable side is not always an easy thing to do especially when it is done intentionally. So when a guy begins to show you his vulnerable side, he might appear uneasy and nervous.
At this point, be calm and help in letting him know he is not alone in his issues. He might feel he is not all that smart and confess he doesn’t have it all figured out yet. Of course, guys want to always be on top of every situation but it isn’t always the case.
So you must let him know this and offer him your help and support in whatever thoughtful ways you can.
Related Post: Qualities Men Look For In Women
What Does It Mean When A Guy Tells You About His Family
A family is the closest set of persons to anybody. They exhibit openness, share in the joys and pain of one another, and many other things that make them a strong force on the surface of the earth.
1. A guy holds his family in high regard no matter how high or lows it might be. Telling you about his family, those he holds so dearly to his heart is a sure indication that he values you and wants you to know more about him.
But what does it mean when a guy tells you about his family? Firstly, it may mean that he trusts you to an extent that he is willing to tell you about the closest people to him. When a guy trusts you, he is bound to tell you about his family.
2. Secondly, it might be that he is interested in starting a relationship with you and will like you to meet his family. So if during a discussion, he brings in the topic of his family, it is a subtle way of telling you that he is interested in you and will like to begin a relationship with you.
3. Taking it further, if you have been friends for quite some time now, he might be that he wants to take the relationship deeper and wouldn’t mind telling you about his family. This is often the case when the two of you are planning on getting married. He will definitely tell you about his family and how they are.
4. Another interpretation of a guy telling you about his family could be that he wants to hear about your family. So, he believes that you’ll reciprocate if he tells you about his family. In essence, telling you about his family might be his way of also wanting to hear about your family as well.
If A Guy Opens Up To You Does That Mean He Likes You
Men are rational beings capable of making informed and reasonable conclusions after carefully considering the premise on which arguments, questions, insinuations, circumstances, situations, etc are based.
For instance, when you notice the cold reaction of an otherwise cheerful person towards you, your mind tends to begin to search for the possible options as to why s/he reacted in that manner to you.
“Did I offend him?” …Is she having a bad day?… Is everything alright with her?” These and a whole lot of other questions are bound to go through our minds in the search for a possible answer.
It is no different when you discover a guy opens up to you, telling you things about himself that he hasn’t told anyone, your mind will want to tend to ask several questions as to why he’s doing that including the question in consideration — ‘…does that mean he likes you?’
Now to answer the question, we have to address the first question which is why will a guy choose to open up to you and not someone else? Why? Does it mean that he likes you?
There are several reasons why a guy will choose to open up to you.
Firstly, it may be that he trusts you.
Generally, we tend to spill out our hearts to the people or things we trust. I mean everyone does it whether or not you are consciously aware of it or not.
Do you need proof? Okay, I’ll give you two!
Say for example you wake up one morning and you have a painful feeling in your muscles. You have never experienced something of that kind before. You begin to get apprehensive. Several thoughts begin to flood through your mind like what could be wrong with me? Did I eat the wrong kind of food? Do I have a terminal disease? Am I dying? And a whole lot of other questions.
So, what do you do? You pick up your phone and consult Google or any other search engine and then you tell Google all that is in your mind. Isn’t it?
For others, they immediately call their family doctor, fix an appointment, and on getting there, they blurt out all they have to say to him or her. In short, they open up to them.
For others it might be a close friend or someone they perceive can be of help to whom they come and then spill out their minds to desperately seeking consolation and relief.
So, it can be for several purposes but all hinged on trust. If a guy thus opens up to you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he likes you but it can also mean that he trusts you and sees you as one he can share his heart with.
Let’s also look at the other side. Why will a guy open up to you if not that he likes you? After all, you don’t expose your secrets to everyone nor do you open up to everybody. We all have our reservations.
Though I did mention the issue of trust a few sentences ago, a guy opening up to you might be on a deeper level than trust to being in love with you. One of the characteristics of true love is that secrets are not concealed.
Let me put it this way… True love is ‘reckless’. Caution is thrown to the wind. When a guy truly likes you and will want to spend his life with you, he won’t be afraid of opening up secrets about himself to you.
Related Post: Indications You’re Already In Love
When A Guy Trusts You With His Secrets: What You Should Not Do
Personally, we do have secrets we keep within us and would not let it out for just any reason without something important rising up and warranting talking about it.
Secrets of a man’s life are like his wall of defense through which he is able to relate and associate with other people. Telling you his secrets is like tearing down his wall of defense and making himself vulnerable.
The ground of trust in you is, and will be, a major reason why he would trust you with his secrets. Now, you wouldn’t want to break the trust he has in you, would you? So then, when a guy trusts you with his secrets, what should you not do?
#1. Don’t Tell It To A Third Party
Secrets are meant to be kept and not be let out.
It is therefore important you should have the discipline of controlling what and what not to say when interacting with a third party to whom the secret is not known.
How will he feel if and when he hears what he told you from the lips of someone else who was not with you as and when he told you that secret? For most guys, you will be seen as a ‘leaking vessel’ that cannot retain substance. From that moment, his trust and respect for you will begin to decline.
#2. Don’t Be Judgmental Or Negatively Critical
Usually, you might have been viewing a guy in a different light from the way you now view him after he let out one of his secrets to you. It will be wrong of you to then begin to raise an accusing or judgmental finger against him at that instance or at any other time.
#3. Don’t Use It To ‘Score’ Against Him
As I did mention before, secrets are like walls of defense that we unconsciously build around us. Letting it out is like pulling down our walls of defense.
When a secret is let out, as humans, we tend to have a point through which we can use to score against the revealer during an argument or crisis.
However, if he informs you about his secret when there is no tension between the both of you, it will be wrong, peradventure, an argument rises between the two of you and you use the secret he told you against him to score a point. That will be very unfair and improper.
#4. Don’t Be A ‘Know All’
Sometimes when a guy lets you in on his secret, he is not necessarily seeking your advice but might just want you to give a listening ear while he unburdens his heart.
If at that time you behave as you know it all and want to give unsolicited advice, you might be swimming against the tide and defeat the purpose to which he let you in, to his ‘secret room’.