A long time ago, there was a huge debate about what makes for maturity. Responsibility and age were kept alongside each other and placed on the table for picks.
Wise men and women debated soundly and tirelessly with strong points that left the audience bouncing their heads vigorously in a nod. For most of the time, there was a tie and people began to slip into a state of indecisiveness, for there were strong points from both sides.
This continued until the wisest of them all stood up and broke the tie with a very clear and concise point that could not be questioned further.
At the end of it all, everyone came together and collectively agreed that age on its own, doesn’t necessarily guarantee maturity, but the combination of responsibility, experience, and accountability.
Now ladies, your age alone doesn’t speak maturity in the actual sense of it.
Forget the noise around you and the unfounded ideologies you’re being fed with by society. When it boils down to real-life issues like maintaining beautiful relationships, you may be old enough but you might not be mature enough to handle them.
Yes, growing older is not intentional but attaining maturity is very intentional. Get the gist?
So, for you to build something good with the opposite gender, firstly, know how to be a mature woman in a relationship before thinking of what you can benefit from your relationship.
How to be a mature woman in a relationship ranks higher than any other societal cliché about the way or how a relationship should be maintained.
If you’ve ever been addressed as immature, especially in your relationship, that is about to change now if you stick around for a little while. Also, if you want to set mature relationship goals and know how to be mature emotionally, then get ready, we are about to set sail.
Here are 20 often-ignored secrets on how to be a mature woman. These secrets are explained under different headings for you to properly understand and take note of. Let’s dive in.
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Importance of Maturity in A Relationship
Knowing the importance of maturity in a relationship has helped countless mature women achieve their relationship goals, over the years. Relationships, for what it’s worth, shouldn’t be handled with kid’s gloves. You take care of your part and allow your partner to handle his part. That is how you grow together and build something solid.
Remember, it doesn’t require hard work for you to keep a solid relationship, it requires smart work from two mature, imperfect people, working together to become perfect for each other.
This is getting really interesting now, let’s proceed with the importance of maturity in the relationship.
1. Maturity Helps Settle Differences Amicably
In relationships, issues are prone to arise, if not for anything, for the fact that you both came from different backgrounds, informed by several different experiences and have individual choices, even though you are both striving for excellence, together.
Maturity helps you handle your differences without shutting up your partner in the process. The act of paying back a wrong with silent treatment or any form of inflicting pain physically or emotionally on your partner becomes a thing of the past.
When you get offended or your feelings got hurt by your partner, maturity demands you call their attention to it immediately, and not think they should smell the air and find out.
In the same vein, maturity makes you never downplay your wrong. It makes you own up, accept responsibility for your actions and right the wrong you did. Generally, maturity helps to settle scores amicably.
2. It Helps Create Comfortable Boundaries
Maturity helps you create workable boundaries for yourself and your partner. For instance, there should be a time couples can hang out with their respective friends without being bugged to tension by their partners.
Mature couple that trusts and understands themselves do not worry about how they spend their separate times because they know that the work they jointly did in their relationship matters more and should not be jeopardized.
Maturity makes you understand that there’s also a time to chill and enjoy the comfortable silence in the house and mind your respective business without feeling the need to encroach on each other’s space or wonder if the other person is breaking any relationship rule.
What do I mean? I mean, a mature partner is a secured partner.
3. It Makes You Sensitive
With maturity, you become sensitive to your partner’s needs.
It also helps strike a balance between your needs. Your partner’s needs become as obvious and as important as yours.
No one deserves to be overlooked or shunned, as the case may be. Treat every valid need as important. As you matter to your partner, let your partner matter to you.
Now hear this, it is immature to think that a man has no need and desires. Immature women believe that their man has to keep bottling up his emotions just to prove a point to them.
A mature woman knows how to behave in a relationship with a guy who is in tune with his being. She understands that it is very okay for her guy to be in his moments and show his most vulnerable side without the fear of being ridiculed or judged later.
One of the signs a woman is emotionally mature includes staying strong for her man in his vulnerable state.
In case you’re a guy reading this, here is a little something for you too. Maturity helps you pay attention and know what a woman wants in a relationship. It guides you and helps you to know how to behave in a relationship as a man.
4. Secrets Become Safe With You
Have you seen a mature woman in a relationship kiss and tell? Nope! Whatever happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. It’s never a mature thing to invite your friends over and laugh about your private discussions, your man’s insecurities, or anyone’s at that.
Your relationship matters that ought to be private should fully enjoy the privacy privileges, except in emergencies or when your peace and life is being threatened.
Maturity makes you keep secrets, secret. Not just with your partner alone. Anyone that trusts you enough to confide in you should go to bed easily, knowing that their secret is safe with you.
5. A Mature Woman is Financially Responsible
The financial management problem boldly tops the chart on reasons why couples constantly fight each other. When there’s no solid and accurate financial management plan in a relationship, problems begin to creep in between the couple, and if not tackled, it festers. Money is that powerful.
Maturity makes you prudent, accountable, and transparent in your spending, irrespective of who exactly makes the money. Even if you meet your partner halfway in financial responsibilities, maturity demands prudence in spending.
What A Mature Woman Wants In A Relationship
I wrote this knowing that some guys are going to get in here. So, if you’re a guy, I gat you. Mind you, this session is going to help you treat your mature significant order the way she wants to be treated.
People walk into relationships with different reasons and intentions. To them, be it good or bad, those reasons and intentions are as valid and as legit as the sun and moon. But what a mature woman wants in a relationship can be nothing but genuine and achievable.
A mature woman of pure intentions can be fun to be with, in a relationship. She makes it easy to fall all over in love with her every single day.
She has had experiences or learned from others about life in general. This has made her know how to be more mature in life and how to act mature in life’s situations.
As a mature woman, ready for serious business in her relationship, your desires should be clearly communicated to your partner at all times for better understanding. You have to shy away from putting him through the rigorous process of assumptions.
Letting your partner keep assuming you want a certain thing done in a certain way can be quite exhausting for both of you.
Keep it cool, keep it plain, keep it achievable.
With the right guy that knows how to behave in a relationship as a man, your needs will be met without any procrastination.
So, while picking points on how to be a mature woman in a relationship, l believe you’re very curious to also know what a mature woman wants in a relationship even as a lady. Allow me to douse your curiosity with these points.
1. She Wants Peace
True, we all pray for peace in the land and strive to be at peace with our neighbors, a mature woman extends that energy to her relationship. She desires peace of mind in all areas of life. For this reason, she puts so much effort into making anything she’s interested in, be a success, including her relationship.
She understands that peace of mind helps one to be highly productive in all their doings. Since she wants peace, she gives peace back. And because of that, a mature woman will never tolerate anything that threatens her peace. Be it from a cheating partner or from a partner that abuses her either emotionally, mentally, or physically.
She knows her peace of mind cannot be sacrificed on the altar of a relationship, so she does the needful by protecting herself and peace without any regrets.
For the guys reading this, give her peace, and she’ll give you all of herself.
2. She Wants Genuine Love and Respect
The perfect love and respect she has for herself make her insist on a partner that respects and loves her the right way, with the same intensity.
A mature man knows that a well-loved woman is a happy woman. Any ignorant man that has a low opinion about women puts women down, and thinks of them as less of a human will never be found in the company of a classy, mature woman.
3. She Wants Commitment
One of the most horrific things to experience in the dating department is to have a partner with a commitment phobia. It never ends well. A man that cannot be committed in his relationship has the tendencies of being found wanting in other areas of life.
Not just that, he intentionally breaks the relationship code and still finds a way to guilt-trip you and robe you in; making you believe you are part of the problem.
This secret is well known to a mature woman who knows what to expect from a relationship partner and she takes determined steps not to fall into such a trap.
You see, being genuinely committed to your partner is one sure action that shows signs your love is real for them.
4. She Wants Companionship
Listen, it is actually a good thing to enjoy your own company. That is, being comfortable with being alone. Let this sink in. There’s a thin line between wanting companionship and being needy. While the former is healthy, the latter is unhealthy and repulsive.
Most time, be your companion, enjoy solitude unapologetically. That way, you groom yourself to never seek unwarranted attention from another person, which may present you as too demanding.
But something is certain, with a relationship comes companionship and one of the benefits of a relationship is having your companion by your side. The gift of a partner’s presence should not be begged for, so far he’s not busy with work. Let there be a balance between work and spending time together.
5. She Wants Loyalty
Nothing beats loyalty in a relationship. A smart, mature woman prioritizes loyalty in her relationship. A couple that is loyal to each other fears nothing and trusts each other with their lives; knowing fully well that they are covered by their partners.
She makes sure she gains her man’s loyalty and vice versa. This helps them to become transparent to themselves without any reservation.
Know this, what a mature woman wants in a relationship transcends the physical. But none should be neglected.
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Mature Things to Talk About In A Relationship
Communication is the backbone of every relationship. However, mature women don’t just talk to get the mouth busy, they know mature things to talk about in a relationship.
Get this right. When it comes to relationships, there are no rules to what should be discussed per se; except, of course, the couple decides which discussion should be held and at what time.
Again, as a smart woman, there are discussions, mature things to talk about in a relationship for the sole purpose of moving that relationship to the next level.
Some of them are listed down here for you to go back with and apply in your relationship if you wish to.
1. Life Goals
Your life plans should include and accommodate your partner.
In relationships, couples talk endlessly about their goals to make sure no one is left behind or taken unawares. For example, it is unthinkable for a partner to plan to leave the country for a brief period without letting the other person into the plan. It would be nothing short of catastrophic.
The relationship will take a bad hit and might not fully recover. So, it would be wise to have this discussion and make intentions known in a clear, comprehensive language. Your partner’s support will help you get to the peak of your goals.
2. Past Pains
Carrying luggage of past pains into a relationship can hamper the romance and beautiful experience to be enjoyed together.
A lot of people bottle up painful emotions and anger from past experiences and relationships without having closure or healing. This can be tormenting to the individual until something is done about it.
A couple that understands themselves enough should talk about the hurt they carry around and help each other heal from these things. Therapy can do good but a compassionate lover’s support can do the healing magic and help enjoy all the goodies the relationship has to offer together.
We all come with our hobbies, something we love doing during our spare time or when we want to take a break and relax.
Talking about your hobbies helps your partner know you better and let you be, whenever you want to indulge yourself. Most times, mature couples learn each other’s hobbies. This brings them closer to each other and makes the relationship more fun and interesting.
Signs of relationship compatibility can be seen in couples that do everything together including indulging in the same hobby.
4. Daily Activities
Women love to talk. Especially at the end of the day, after the day’s struggles. But in a relationship, it shouldn’t be a woman’s thing alone. The couple should be able to let off steam while the other listens and give advice and encouragement.
This is one of the ways couples bond at the end of the day just before retiring for the night. Again, it is wise to plan the day together and bring your partner up to speed on how your activity for the day will be. This helps in building communication in relationships.
One sure way of putting a smile on you and your partner’s face is by remembering your past adventures. Talking about mistakes, achievements, nice times in the past, and beautiful times shared together.
The first time you met, your first kiss, your first date, your last vacation together, and every other thing in between. Memories make the heart grow fonder. I hope you agree with me?
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Mature Woman Characteristics
A mature woman has some distinctive attributes and lifestyle she’s known for, that distinguishes her from the everyday woman out there in the street. We speak not of the age factor but of qualities and growth that makes one a better human.
These characters make her command so much respect and become irresistible to both her friends and strangers. You know, this mature woman’s characteristics should also be inculcated into a growing girl too, to guide her in making smart decisions when she gets to that time in her life.
Here are some characteristics of a mature woman that separates her from others. Note: these characteristics are not a long list. They are rather, the foundational characteristic of a mature woman, upon which every other character are built.
1. She’s in Control of Her Emotions
The show of emotion is not any sign of immaturity. In fact, it is a sign that you have blood and water running in your vein. Every normal human should have the capacity to express emotion.
However, what characterizes the mature woman from the immature, is the ability to be in charge of her emotion.
Be it at work or at home, maturity helps you organize your emotions and tuck it well away. A mature woman is in control of what she feels, and how she allows it to affect her.
Maturity teaches you never to let your emotions take over your reasoning. Women are known to be emotional beings but with the help of maturity, she becomes the controller of those emotions and not the other way round. These are sure signs of a grown woman.
2. Her Identity Is Not Mixed Up
A mature woman knows that she has a sound mind of her own and a perfectly working brain which makes her confident in her skin and her ways.
She doesn’t go with the flow or follows the crowd to anywhere they’re being pushed to. She doesn’t do things because others are doing it. Except it appeals to her, then, it is not for her.
Even in her relationship, she won’t take up any kind of advice because she knows that all relationships are different.
This quality makes her life and work unique and different from the rest.
She’s herself and she’s comfortable with being herself.
3. Taking Responsibility
Throwing blames around when things get messy isn’t one of the mature woman characteristics.
Maturity teaches you to take responsibility bravely for your actions and work it out for the best.
A mature woman does not hide from responsibilities. She steps into them gracefully without any flinch. Responsibilities must abound in life as we all know. A woman of maturity handles hers perfectly as they come.
In her relationship, a mature woman does not shift the entire responsibility to her partner and fold her hands. She understands it’s teamwork and all hands should be on deck.
In case you want to compare a mature relationship vs. an immature one, here you have it. One of the factors of a mature relationship is being responsible.
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Signs of A Classy Woman
The truth is, you can’t be a little bit classy. Yeah!
Like, today you’re classy, tomorrow you’re not. No. It’s either you are classy or you are not classy at all.
You have to understand this though, nobody was born with the ‘classy gene’ inherent in them.
Granted, some women were born into a classy family, but they still go through their fair share of grooming to become the classy ladies you know them to be today.
As a female, you display signs of a classy woman when you begin to groom yourself adequately, your background notwithstanding.
It is also worthy of note that, being mature helps you attain the classy standard. This isn’t meant for every woman, but for the ones that are ready to break the norms and say a big no to the status quo kind of life around them.
That said, let’s go through some signs or traits to look out for in a classy woman and then, go ahead and take a cue from them. Trust me, you’d be surprised at how your life will metamorphose into something beautiful and elegant.
So, let’s get down to brass tacks.
1. A Classy Woman Places Value on Herself
Every classy woman knows what she’s worth at every given time. Hence, she’s conscious of who she lets into her circle.
She doesn’t give any being the power to bring her down either by words or in action.
She moves with other women of worth, this makes it difficult for any negative energy to survive near her.
Same way, she only adds value to others, because you only give out what you have. With her, you practically become a better and positive version of yourself.
2. She Is Well Mannered
A classy woman is not only mannered, her manners are refined. She picks her battles very wisely and would never be found fighting dirty because of anyone or anything. She knows when it’s okay to speak and when to allow matters to slide.
She’ll always accord everyone their deserved respect and patiently waits for her turn in queues.
Apologies come naturally to her the minute she offends someone. She has the best etiquette in the room, be it social or dining etiquette.
3. She Gets Her Acts Together
She knows where she’s heading in life. Her goals are clear and her intentions are known.
A classy woman has confidence in herself. She isn’t confused about life any longer. She doesn’t wait for anything that goes. She is precise about what she wants out of life so she wakes up, set her plans, make them plain, and run with the vision.
Even when life throws her a lemon, she’s sure making lemonade out of it with her head held high.
She gets things done at the right time and appropriately too. Never in a hurry except in an emergency.
4. She Is Highly Intellectual
It is very possible to see an intelligent woman that lacks class but very rare to see a classy woman that is not intelligent. A classy woman’s brain is a wonder to behold. If you’re not careful, you’ll be intimidated by the way her brain works.
She thinks out of the box and doesn’t settle for the conventional ways of handling business.
Her educational background might be of the regular, but remember, she has groomed herself better than where she began. A classy woman understands the need for her brain to be always fired up and she doesn’t shy away from such opportunities either to learn or to take up a challenge.
5. She Chooses Her Words
A classy woman knows that words are so powerful and can be used to build up or tear down. That’s why she picks her words wisely while talking. She understands that words that are spoken can’t be taken back, so she intentionally builds up with her words.
Talking about a conversation? A classy woman knows how to have a mature conversation without having it bore her listener to sleep.
Swear and cuss words are a no-no for a classy woman even when she’s frustrated out. She’d rather sit and take deep breaths than allow unedifying words to escape her mouth.
6. She Dresses Smartly
She doesn’t have to be on the latest designers or the trending attire before she looks classy. She knows her body and what looks good on her.
A classy woman dresses elegantly and confidently according to the occasion without going overboard with fashion. Her fashion sense speaks nothing but class.
7. Her Classy Posture
A lady with class knows she’s royalty and carries herself as one. She doesn’t walk as if she has the weight of the whole world resting on her shoulders or sit as if she’s hiding from the world.
Signs of a classy woman include walking confidently with shoulders squared back and chin up in the air. She does not slouch or cower in her gait. She sits up with her back straight and her chest out. Her steps are smooth and devoid of arrogance.
I have to round up here and let you go practice all you’ve learned, but then, here is something to keep in mind…
Truth is, to be a mature woman in all ramifications requires that you consciously seek knowledge and growth and making sure you have a good head on your shoulders.
Knowledge comes when you seek it. Either by reading up or paying attention to people with the experience, and growth comes by applying them to your everyday life.
In all your striving, strive to be mature all-round. It makes life a lot less difficult.
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