If you are asked what do women want in a relationship? you might suggest answers such as good sex, companionship, money, attention, or love.
Yeah, women want a lot of things from their spouse in marriage, but it’s a different ball game when they are pregnant. What a pregnant woman wants from her husband can be different from when she was not pregnant.
Pregnancy hormones which prompt both physical and emotional changes in women will make them demand different things from their spouse and therefore understanding your pregnant wife becomes an uphill task.
It becomes so difficult to know when she wants to be left alone or when she needs your hug and companionship. This is why you see some women fighting with husband during pregnancy.
For some women, their relationship with husband during pregnancy suddenly change. She’s all emotional this minute, then the next minute she’s wondering what made her cry.
All these and more can be frustrating, especially when you are trying your best to understand her situation, yet you just don’t know what a pregnant woman wants from her husband.
What a pregnant woman wants from her husband goes beyond what she wanted from you before conceiving her unborn child.
She’s a different woman now with varying needs induced by hormonal changes and therefore needs your total support to scale through this nine months journey.
So, what does a pregnant woman need from her husband?
Her needs are not farfetched, and that’s why I will be providing lots of answers to the above question in this article.
Unsupportive Partner During Pregnancy: An Wholistic View
Dealing with an unsupportive partner during pregnancy has become one of the challenges women face.
From the first day a woman realizes she is pregnant to the day she births her child, she undergoes lots of stress that comes with pregnancy, such as preparing the nursery, shopping for herself and the baby, antenatal visits to the hospital, sleepless nights due to the size of her tummy, morning sickness, etc.
Hence, having an unsupportive partner will make her pregnancy journey more burdensome and an unhappy one.
Research shows that 90% of women either miscarried their babies, delivered babies prematurely, or suffered from postpartum depression after birthing their child as a result of having an unsupportive partner during pregnancy.
Yeah, an unsupportive partner during pregnancy is known by his attitudes and actions towards his pregnant wife. Some of the signs of an unsupportive husband during pregnancy include; a nonchalant attitude towards your condition, lack of commitment towards your needs and that of the unborn child, always quick to body shame you, offering little or no help with house chores, etc.
Furthermore, It takes sexual intercourse between a man and a woman to conceive a child, therefore a woman shouldn’t be left to bear the challenges that come with pregnancy alone.
To a large extent, the health of the mother and the unborn child greatly depends on the partner’s support.
However, no man will involuntarily decide to be an unsupportive husband during pregnancy without some reasons and some of the justifications for his actions may include;
1. He is confused:
Your partner might be overwhelmed with the news of your pregnancy, especially if it is your first conception.
Therefore, he may have little or no knowledge about your condition, he might be confused about what to do and what not to do as regards your pregnancy.
2. Childhood Experiences:
A lot of men grew up without a father or a father figure, who should have shown them how to be a supportive husband.
Also, some may have a father who exemplified how they should treat their pregnant wife, with the way he behaved toward his wife while she was pregnant.
These childhood experiences go a long way in determining if they will be a supportive husband or an unsupportive partner during pregnancy.
3. Your pregnancy took him by surprise:
Another reason for a husband to be unsupportive to his wife during pregnancy is when the pregnancy was never planned.
It might be that he never wanted the pregnancy, but you insisted and got pregnant.
Some men will advise their wives to use some birth control measures after having the number of children they desire, and once they discover their wives disregarded their advice and got pregnant, their attitude will change towards their wives.
They will keep seeing the unborn child as unwanted and this will affect how supportive they will be to their spouse during pregnancy.
4. He is afraid of responsibilities:
It takes a lot of financial, moral, emotional, spiritual, and social commitments to raise a child.
The thought of providing all your needs and that of the unborn child might be draining him and this will make him withdrawn or be indifferent to your needs.
5. He is Probably seeing another woman:
A cheating husband will always be insensitive to the wife’s condition.
His promiscuous adventures can keep him away from his pregnant wife for days or months.
When he decides to stay with his wife, his phone or computer will have all his attention, and he will barely notice that his wife needs him.
6. A lot changed about you:
Yeah, he still can’t process the fact that his once sexy and attractive wife is becoming fatter, irritable, and lazy. The more painful part is that his sex life has become boring and monotonous with all these changes.
Also, he might feel that having a new baby in the house will deprive him of the attention and care he deserves, as you will channel your attention to your unborn child.
He may not be ready for all these. This will affect his view about pregnancy and make him show little or no support to his pregnant wife.
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How To Support Your Wife During Pregnancy
A good number of men have been called selfish husbands during pregnancy. Simply because they just do not know how to be a supportive partner during pregnancy or how a husband should treat his pregnant wife.
When it comes to supporting your pregnant wife, ignorance is not an excuse. You may not be the one carrying the child, but you ought to be a support system for your wife and unborn child. The way to do that is to begin to ask yourself, “how to make my pregnant wife feel special ? ”.
More so, if you fall within the category of men who are unsupportive during pregnancy, because they are confused or lack knowledge on what to do, then below are examples of how to support your wife during pregnancy.
1. Assist her with house chores:
One way to support your wife during pregnancy is by assisting her with domestic chores.
She will need lots of help with taking care of the kids (if it’s not her first pregnancy), preparing family meals, and keeping the house in order.
You can assist with preparing the kids for school, making breakfast/dinner, or doing the dishes.
And if you’re indisposed, it is important that you make a plan for somebody to assist her in these area.
2. Accompany her to see the doctor:
There are going to be lots of doctor appointments and antenatal visits to the hospital.
Accompanying her to see the doctor is a great way to show your support, you won’t just get first-hand information from the doctor, or midwife about your wife’s condition, but you will also understand better the symptoms or challenges that come with each stage of your wife’s pregnancy.
Showing your support in this regard will make you not have a wife that will keep muttering these words; “my husband doesn’t understand how hard pregnancy is.
More so, you can encourage or remind her to take her prenatal vitamins at the appropriate time and also make research about healthy meals and exercises that are suitable for her condition.
3. Shop for her and the baby:
You must have noticed the sudden increase in her body weight and the expansion of her feet.
This means that she will soon outgrow most of her clothes and shoes and will need a change of wardrobe.
Yeah, she will need some maternity gowns and low heel shoes for her comfort and safety, and another way to show your support is by getting those comfy gowns and shoes for her.
Your pregnant wife will also need your assistance in shopping for your unborn child, assisting her in choosing the right color of clothes, shoes, and accessories for your baby will make her feel elated.
4. Be her source of strength and inspiration:
Pregnancy comes with lots of fears and worries. Your pregnant wife will be bothered about the baby in her womb, childcare, delivery, and postnatal stress.
It is important to learn how to talk to your pregnant wife. You have to acknowledge her fears and worries and also reassure her that everything will work out just fine.
Some pregnant women worry a lot that they barely get enough sleep and this is unhealthy for them and their unborn child.
Therefore, she will need lots of motivation and reassurance from you to have a successful nine months journey.
5. Help her prepare for the big day:
Being a supportive husband during pregnancy also includes preparing your wife’s mind for the big day.
The majority of pregnant women are scared of the pains and discomforts that come with childbirth, especially if they had a traumatic childbirth experience in the past.
Your pregnant wife will not enjoy her pregnancy journey when she is scared for her life and that of the unborn child. Nevertheless, you can help alleviate these fears by speaking positive words to her, you can get books and tapes on how to have successful delivery for her, or write some affirmation notes that she will affirm daily on her bedside or bedroom walls.
6. Be on your best behavior:
This is not the time to get drunk, keep late nights, flirt with other women, or leave home without informing your wife.
Your sex life may be boring, and your wife may become a shadow of herself, but it is certainly not an excuse to break her heart.
Her heart is very fragile at this point and her health is also volatile, therefore you just have to hang in there and be on your best behavior.
She will feel at rest knowing that you will not do anything to hurt her in her condition and this is a good way to support your wife during pregnancy.
7. Be her Masseur:
Pregnancy comes with lots of back pain, shoulder pain, waist pain, and aching feet. This is due to the weight of the baby which brings about a change in posture and sleeping position of the mother.
Hence, giving your pregnant wife a soft massage before she retires to bed will give her great relief.
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These are what a Pregnant Woman Wants From her Husband
A woman’s pregnancy journey can seem like forever when you do not know what she wants from you.
As her husband, you are already dealing with adjusting to certain changes that come with pregnancy and as if that isn’t enough, understanding your pregnant wife leaves you perplexed.
The truth is, she is also confused as you are, she is also trying to understand all that is going on within and outside her body; the mood swings, food aversion, large appetite, low sex drive, etc.
Thus, what she wants from you depends on her mood and the state of her body at that very moment, her demands this minute might change within a snap of your fingers.
Regardless, these are what a pregnant woman wants from her husband.
1. Understand her:
She wants you to put yourself in her shoes, and understand her fears, worries, and all that she is experiencing.
You don’t have to freak out when she demands weird food combinations or dozes off in the toilet.
2. Surprise her:
Women love surprises and pregnancy doesn’t change that love for surprises.
If you’ve ever asked, ” how can I make my pregnant wife feel special”? then this is just one of the ways to do that. She wants you to surprise her with gifts, a special meal prepared by you, a weekend getaway, love notes, etc.
3. Reassure Her:
Pregnancy has changed a lot about her and she might feel you no longer find her attractive.
At this point, she needs to be reassured of your love and commitment to her. You can Kiss her surprisingly and tell her you love her or compliment her new look( yea, tell her how sexy she looks in a maternity gown).
More so, you should speak words that will boost her self-esteem, words that will make her feel confident and happy being pregnant.
4. Be affectionate:
We are still on the subject, what a pregnant woman needs from her husband ? One of the major things she needs from you at this time of her life is a.f.f.e.c.t.i.o.n. Show that you care for her through your words and actions and always be sensitive to her needs.
5. Bond with her and the unborn child:
Your pregnant wife wants you to be part of your child’s development in the womb by bonding with him/her. You can talk to him/her, sing to your unborn child, or softly massage your wife’s belly and imprint a kiss on it often.
She also wants you to spice things up in the bedroom, even though her protruded belly might get in the way. She may find a particular sex position uncomfortable, but that shouldn’t deter your sexual intimacy with her.
However, you should also seek the doctor’s advice as regards having sex with your pregnant wife, once she is approved fit for that, then you can make research on sex positions that is safe for pregnant women.
Also, explore other ways of bonding with your wife, it might be as simple as having a shower together, seeing a movie, or cooking together.
6. Appreciate her:
The greatest emotional need of humans is the need to be appreciated.
A pregnant woman wants to be appreciated for the pains, sacrifices, and discomforts that she is passing through to bring forth her bundle of joy.
You can decide to leave a note of appreciation at her bedside in the morning or send her a lovely text before bedtime, this will make her heart glad, give her that pregnancy glow, and will also give her the strength to face some of the challenges that come with being pregnant.
7. Be Happy:
Wondering what a pregnant woman wants from her husband? Well, she wants you to wake her up in the morning with a broad smile on your face and laugh heartily over her silly jokes and childish behaviors.
After all, it is a thing of joy to be pregnant and you ought to share in her joy.
Her peace of mind and emotional health depends on your happy and positive disposition.
8. Trust her:
She wants you to trust her motherly instincts and not doubt her. When she tells you that she feels something is wrong with the baby in her womb or she feels she is about to birth her child, trust her words and do the needful.
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What Husbands Should Not Do During Pregnancy
You must have heard the doctor’s warning about what your pregnant wife should not do, some of which might be taking pills without a doctor’s prescription, doing strenuous exercises, evading antenatal visits to the hospital, etc.
This pregnancy journey is not just about your wife, and what she ought not to do, it is also about you and the things you ought not to do while your wife is pregnant.
Your actions and inactions during your wife’s pregnancy journey will determine how joyful and fulfilling this phase will be for you both.
Furthermore, if you are at a loss on what not to do as regards your wife’s pregnancy, here are some examples of what husbands should not do during pregnancy.
1. Don’t compare her to other women;
You must have come across lots of pregnant women that appeared stronger or more beautiful than your pregnant wife, but it is never wise to compare your pregnant wife to other pregnant women you’ve met.
The symptoms and changes that come with being pregnant vary from one woman to the other. While some women may have morning sickness during their first trimester or become less beautiful, others do not experience these, they even tend to be more beautiful and active.
Therefore, you should never make comparisons, your wife’s body system is unique and should be accepted and appreciated by you.
2. Don’t rub it in:
Yeah, She knows a lot has changed about her; her food craving is weird, an increase in body weight, and occasional bouts of emotions that she can’t understand, etc.
But, you know what? Do not rub it in by calling her a glutton, a cry baby, or by reminding her that she has become fat and lazy.
3. Don’t be boring:
Your love life doesn’t have to be boring because your wife is pregnant, rather it is a great time to spice up your love life and learn something new about each other.
You can go on a romantic date night together, engage in couple’s games, or embark on a sightseeing tour.
4. Don’t take her complaints for granted:
your pregnant wife will certainly complain a lot about discomforts like stomach pain, waist pain, loss of appetite, restlessness, etc.
You shouldn’t take any of these complaints for granted, instead, try as much as possible to ease her pains.
5. Don’t take the place of her Doctor/Nurse:
know when her complaints get out of hand and do the needful by taking her to the hospital or calling the doctor.
Also, do not give or allow her to take drugs that are not prescribed by the doctor.
She needs your support and encouragement as her husband, but when the need arises for her to see the doctor, do not hesitate to take her to the hospital.
6. Don’t be tired of her disturbance:
It is going to be a roller coaster ride (nothing good comes easy).
You are going to get nervous, have countless sleepless nights, or feel like running away from home.
Yeah, your pregnant wife will disturb you with her crazy demands, but please do not ever get tired or get angry with her. It is only a phase that will soon become a memory that you both will remember in the future and laugh over it all.
It may take 9 months or less for your unborn child to make his/her grand entrance into this world, but a lot can happen before his/her arrival into this world.
As days turn into months, your relationship with your spouse at this point in your life will determine the kind of memory that you will have about the gestation period and the birth of your bundle of joy. Is it going to be a lovely memory or a horrible one? the ball is in your court.