Biblical Marriage Principles: 10 Keys To A Successful Marriage
I have been to building sites. One thing is common, the presence of the blueprint, especially with the engineer(s) saddled with the responsibility to build a strong, and beautiful building that perfectly matches what the owner desires to see. No ‘enviable’ building stands without a blueprint.
In same manner, every enviable home are built according to the pattern God laid down in the bible. The Bible contains the blueprint for a lasting and enviable relationship. Adopting biblical marriage principles is the guarantee to the kind of home you’ve always wanted.
Of course, sharing the rest of our lives with someone we love in a blissful marriage is what we all hope for, and sincerely pray for as we start the marital journey with the love of our lives.
Sadly, in most cases, the honeymoon moment soon disappears, and things become sour barely a few months or years into the marriage, then, we end up seeing the once-upon-a-time love of our lives as the most detestable enemy of our lives.
Now, to salvage the situation, a lot of people try to adopt different ways or principles which stem from their emotion-triggered ideas or societal influence and ignore the most important principle, the biblical principle of marriage, and unfortunately, it ends up not still working; sometimes getting worse.
Trust me, to enjoy a blissful marriage, you must apply the right principle that guides it, which are biblical marriage principles. This is because God himself is the originator of marriage, and He definitely has the best guidelines and principles to make it work.
Interestingly, these principles can easily be found in the Bible, this is because the bible, which contains God’s words, is the revelation of God’s standards and principles for every sphere of life, including marriage.
In this publication, I’ll be showing you, top biblical marriage principles that are easily practicable, though often ignored, to save your home and enjoy a blissful marriage.
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Importance of God In Marriage
Sometimes, we all make the mistake of assuming a marriage will work, once we perceive that the couple loves each other, we tend to forget the God-factor and the importance of God in marriage.
The truth is, the success of a marriage is not solely dependent on the romantic love between the couple. It involves far more than that.
A lot of marital relationships end up crashing today because we fail to know the importance of God in marriage and let God have His place in our homes.
Let’s clear this from the beginning, a couple without the knowledge of biblical marriage principles will find it difficult to keep their homes in order. This is as simple as it sounds, but many people don’t realize this.
Now, let’s take a few moments to observe the top three importance of God in marriage, and why God must be the center of marriage.
1. He Upholds And Protects Your Marriage
God instituted marriage. Him alone understands the requirements for a blissful home. Inviting Him into your home puts you at the position of advantage. And one thing you should understand is that a godly marriage is a reflection of God’s love. However, the enemy, Satan will want to do everything to make sure your marriage doesn’t stand, that is why he is busy throwing darts and attacking marriages just to make sure you do not enjoy or even have an idea of what God’s love is.
This is more reason why you should understand that you are not each other’s enemies in marriage, but you have a common enemy, the devil, to come together to fight.
However, when God is at the center of your marriage, He shields you and protects your marriage from any form of attack or darts that the enemy might be throwing at you.
2. He Works With You To Make It Work
When you put God at the center of your marriage, all of your trust and focus will be on him. He will provide for you, inspire you, convict you and even strengthen you to love as you ought to, and do the right thing per time.
As you depend on him for guidance and follow His counsel, you can be sure that you’ll enjoy an enviable home.
3. He Gives You The Wisdom To Manage Situations
The presence of God in your marriage brings to your consciousness the biblical principles of marriage, which is definitely the invaluable wisdom you need to enjoy the peace and marital bliss you desire.
Hence, when you allow God’s presence in your marriage, and you walk in the conscious of His presence, you will live a more careful life, guided by the several scriptures that show us His laws and principles on how to treat and relate with each other in marriage.
For example, because you know God is in the house, you wouldn’t want to talk rashly to his daughter (your wife) or disrespect His son (your husband). You would want to respect God’s presence and act in ways that will be pleasing to Him. This will create an awareness to act rightly towards your significant other.
Therefore, to have a happier home, always ask for more of God and less of your partner.
That’s strange, right?
Well, remember that you cannot love your partner enough, as you ought to. You have to lean on God for help. As God, Himself wants to love your partner, His child, through you.
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What is The Purpose of Marriage in Christianity?
When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. As stated earlier, marriage is ordained by God, and there is a need to understand why He has instituted marriage.
Hence, as a Christian, before going into a marriage relationship, you must be able to understand and answer the question, ‘what is the purpose of marriage in Christianity’.
A lot of people get carried away with the euphoria of the wedding party that they forget the purpose of marriage. As a result, they ignore the biblical principles of marriage which could have been a great tool to help in fulfilling God’s purpose for marriage.
1. To Reflect God’s Image To The World
As Christian, we should understand that one of the main reasons why God is interested in marriage is because it is part of His plan for the World to have a picture of His love for us as a man or woman. Hence, Christian marriage should be seen as a means of glorifying God, an act of service to him.
God ordained marriage as a covenant of permanent and selfless commitment between the husband and the wife, to give us a clear picture of Christ’s love and relationship with the church. This is the primary purpose of marriage in Christianity. Ephesians chapter 5 vs 22-33 clearly states this.
2. For Companionship And Completeness
Gen.2.18 – “And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.”
God created man and woman to complete and complement each other. As the partners come together, to become one. True companionship, love, and affection grow out of the oneness of their spirit.
3. For Fruitfulness
Gen.1.28 – “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.”
Another purpose of Christian marriage is to multiply godly descendants. God created marriage and gave the couple a procreation ability. He commanded them to be fruitful and multiply.
A Christian home should be a training ground where the children are equipped with a sense of love for God and His creation and obey Him.
4. For Enjoyment
Yes, you read it right. Marriage is to be enjoined.
God designed marriage and blessed the couple to enjoy the pleasure of sexual intimacy. God wants the marriage to be filled with romance and rose-smelling feelings for the couple.
In the Garden of Eden, the man (Adam) and the woman (Eve) were both naked and unashamed.
Prov.5.18 – Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Prov.5.19 – Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant rose; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
We should also note that as designed by God, sexual intimacy is to be exclusively practiced within the confines of marriage. No matter how prevalent Extramarital affairs could be, it remains a sin.
Hear what the writer of Hebrew said, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”. (Heb. 13:4)
5. Protection And Support
Both the wife and the husband have different roles to play in providing security and support for each other in marriage.
Before the fall, Adam was given a responsibility, to cultivate the land, this is a means of providing for himself and his wife. He lays down his life for the wife, just as Christ did for the church.
Eph.5.25 – Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Likewise, the wife is to be a helpmeet to the husband. To support and protect her home.
Titus.2.4-5 – That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
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Foundational Principles of Marriage
In the beginning, God created man, and then, made for him a woman from his ribs and gave her to him to be his helpmeet. Here, God created and conducted the first marriage in the garden of Eden ( Gen. 2:18-24).
Hence, the basic foundational principles of marriage can inarguably be obtained from the book of Genesis, since this is where the foundation started from, although, some other biblical principles of marriage can also be found in the other parts of the scriptures (like 1Corinthians 7, 1Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5, etc), where Jesus and other Apostles talked about what we can call the biblical marriage principles.
Understanding the basic foundational principles of marriage, and the biblical marriage principles by either the married or an intending couple will greatly help in fulfilling the main purpose for which God has created marriage.
Now, let’s take a look at some of these foundational principles of marriage;
1. Marriage Is Divinely Instituted By God
Gen.2.21 – And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
Gen.2.22 – And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
Gen.2.23 – And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.
Gen.2.24 – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
According to the scripture, God created and instituted marriage, it was not a man that figured it out, hence it is divinely recognized and therefore must be honored and treated as sacred.
Consequently, it should also be noted that God wanted a successful marriage for all his children and it is in His plans to make provisions for a happy and fruitful marriage for His children, especially those who will be committed to lay down biblical marriage principles.
2. Marriage Is A Covenant And Not A Contract
Mal.2.14 – Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
Against modern-day ideology, marriage is a covenant and not a contract between two people of the opposite sex.
Always remember that Christian marriage is a covenant between the two parties. And it is expected to be a permanent commitment to each other. This type of covert was used by God to provide a model of Christ’s love and His relationship to the church.
Marriage is a covenant in the sense that:
I. It is based on trust between the two parties (husband and wife), unlike a contrast which is based on distrust.
II. It is based on unlimited responsibility between the partners while a contract is based on limited liability.
III. In case, new circumstances occur, a covenant cannot be broken between the concerned party, unlike a contract which can be broken on a mutual agreement.
3. Husband Is Recognized As The Head of The Family
Eph.5.23 – For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
The husband is recognized as the head, and responsible for the wife, and family. He is to guide and lead.
4. Two Flesh Has Become One
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed”. (Gen. 2:24-25)
A husband and a wife become one in marriage, be it in purpose, vision, idea, and interests, and also, in the union of intimacy.
5. Each Party Has Its Unique Marital Responsibilities
As the two parties come together, they both have their unique responsibilities to fulfill God’s purpose for marriage.
The male and the female must come together before the marital purpose of procreation will be fulfilled.
Hence, we should note that no party is inferior to the other, as each has unique responsibilities. They are both joint heirs to life in Christ.
6. Sexual Relationship Must Be Enjoyed Within The Confine of The Marriage
1Cor.7.1 – Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1Cor.7.2 – Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Cor.7.4 – The wife hath not the power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his own body, but the wife.
Sexual relationship is a gift the Lord has given to His married children to enjoy in the confine of their marriage. Any sexual relationship outside marriage is regarded as fornication or adultery, which are not acceptable.
Likewise, the husband and wife must fulfill their marital duties to their spouses by selflessly giving their bodies for the pleasure of their partners.
7. Marriage Is Between A Man And A Woman (Monogamous)
Marriage is supposed to be a “one man-one woman” arrangement. In the beginning, God did not create many wives for a man, neither did he create a woman for her many husbands. It was between Adam and Eve.
8. Husband Is Expected To Love His Wife
Eph.5.25-29 – Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church:
The first fundamental need of a woman in marriage is to be loved, hence, the husband is commanded to meet this need.
The husband is mandated to show God’s kind of love to His wife, the unconditional and undeserved type of love.
9. The Wife Is Expected To Respect/Submit To Her Husband
Eph.5.22-24 – Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
The wife is also commanded to submit to her own husband. The wife must make a deliberate effort to make the husband feel honored and respected by the wife.
It should however be noted that submission, in this case, doesn’t imply the “master-slave” kind of submission.
Biblical Keys To A Successful Marriage
To have a successful marriage, as planned by God for His children, one must solely depend on Him for the wisdom and understanding needed to run the relationship, and wisely follow the biblical principles of marriage that are already being laid down for Christians.
Whether you are enjoying marital bliss in your marriage, or you are going through a difficult period, or you are not even married at all, you need the biblical keys to a successful marriage in order to make your marriage last.
You sure will want to give these most important biblical keys to a successful marriage a trial. Let’s take a look;
1. Start And Establish A New Family /Home With Your Wife
Gen.2.24 – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
It is God’s principle that a married couple should move out of their respective parents’ home and establish their own. The two parties must agree and support each other on this.
2. Never Stop Courting Each Other
1Pet.4.8 – And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
Try as much as possible never to stop your courtship even after marriage, revive it if it seems to be dying. Remember, successful marriages are developed by a conscious effort, they don’t just happen.
To keep your love fresh, express love to each other daily. As much as possible, spend time with each other. Don’t overlook these little acts of love. Be intentional about giving more into the relationship than receiving.
3. Resolve Every Issue Before Going To Bed
Eph.4.26 – Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.
Hurts and grievances must be timely addressed as they could be dangerous to your marriage.
Never feel too big to say sorry to your spouse. Remember, you are both working to achieve a common goal, and no one is perfect.
4. Pray Together
Matt.26.41 – Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Pray with one another, this is one of the greatest ways to bond with your partner. In prayer, ask God for the strength and wisdom to love each other.
Tables your pains and fears before Him, and be sure He will intervene and heal you. Remember, a family that prays together will stay together.
5. Agree That Divorce Will Never Be An Option
Matt.19.6 – Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
We’ve been made to understand that marriage is bound by a covenant and its ties shouldn’t be broken. Marriage is meant to be for life, till death do you part.
Remember, divorce is never a solution to whatever problem you are facing in your marriage, it is destructive and will even create a greater problem now and in the future.
6. Kick Out Nagging, Criticize Constructively
Col.3.19 – Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Try as much as possible not to nag, criticize, or find fault in your partner. To avoid bitterness, do not expect perfection, you are not perfect either.
Try and look out for the good things in your partner, instead of focusing on and trying to correct their weaknesses. Remember to be patient, kind, and affectionate to your partner.
7. Watch your tongue!
Eph.4.29 – Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Speak the word of life to each other, never allow ‘death-words’ or negative words to come out of your mouth to your partner.
When you feel hurt or disappointed by your partner, instead of lashing out and speaking negatively, go to Christ and find your comfort in him, put your hope in God, examine yourself, empathize with your spouse and forgive him/her. Just like Christ, love.
Speak positivity into your spouse’s life, the word that would nourish them and change them for good.
8. Be Selfless
Phil.2.3 – Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Selfishness remains the foundation of every evil practice. Be deliberate about putting the interest of your partner first. Even when your partner doesn’t meet your need, let love reign. Let the love of God fill your heart.
Remember he is merciful to you, you are valuable to him and you can always find your affirmation in him.
Out of the fullness of his love you have received, fill your spouse by allowing their interests to one first. If a couple practices this other-centered attitude, instead of the self-centered nature of a natural man, true peace and the love of Christ will surely reign.
9. Husband, Love Your Wife
Eph.5.25 – Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
The first calling of a husband is to shepherd the wife, as Christ shepherds the church. Ask God to help you love her in a sacrificial, mature, selfless, and God-kind-of-love way.
10. Wife, Respect And Honor Your Husband
Eph.5.22 – Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Also, the first calling of the wife is to respect and honor her husband. Remember, respect is not synonymous with subjection.
Respect your husband maturely by encouragement, an affirmation of gifts, challenging his wrong humbly and gently. Let your husband feel honored and respected every time.
A fruitful and blissful marriage relationship is God’s plan for all His children, if only we could lean not on our own understandings but go to him and humbly follow the biblical principles of marriage, which is a blueprint for a successful and God kind of marriage.
I can’t wait to see you on the journey of marital bliss and fulfillment, as you follow these biblical principles of marriage.
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I will also love to hear how great this post has helped you, do well to drop your comments in the comments box below.