Are you wondering why you are having a constant feeling of horniness or, asking, “why am I so sexually active all the time?”. Perhaps it’s not as bad as you’re thinking. Whatever the case, you’re welcome in here as we discuss how to cope with horniness.
Some people have no desire for sex and some have a constant desire for sex. Both the former and the latter group; or anyone in-between is normal and natural. And of course, the frequency, gravity, and length of this horniness differ from person to person. Meaning, except in some rare medical conditions, most people do not have too much desire for sex. They just think they are. Most likely, your feeling of horniness is not as bad as you’re thinking.
Nevertheless, you may need to learn how to cope with horniness when you think your constant feeling of horniness and desire for sex is beginning to interfere with your work-time or hurting your relationship or any other area of your life.
If you’re in a relationship, it is necessary to know that relationships often involve physical interactions and intimacy, giving way to sexual arousal which is also known as horniness or being turned on, especially whenever you’re with your partner or missing them.
Sexual arousal is usually subject to sexual desires which start in the brain and then slowly move to other parts of the body including the reproductive organs. It can be influenced by physical attraction, touch, hormones, feelings of affection, erotic thoughts, or self-stimulation.
Physical responses to sexual arousal differ for males and females and from individual to individual. It is represented by an erection in males, and the swelling of the nipples and private part for females. Other manifestations include increased heartbeats, blood pressure, and breathing rates.
Understanding your body’s sexual response is an important building block for having a sexual life that is within your control. With this, you can figure out how to get turned off on your terms, how to unaroused yourself, and even understand the science behind the constant feeling of horniness.
At some point in their lives, everyone experiences this need for control, and the reasons always differ. Whatever your reasons maybe, you’re about to understand your sexual desires better and how to be in charge of your horniness.
Are You Having Constant Feeling of Horniness?
Persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD), formally known as persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) is the medical term used to describe a constant feeling of horniness. It is called a disorder because it is associated with a continuous and uncontrollable feeling of sexual arousal without sexual desire. This feeling can last for as long as hours, days, or months. It is uncomfortable, it feels intrusive and it doesn’t go away after sexual satisfaction.
The common symptoms of this syndrome include uncomfortable sensations like itching, wetness, pressure, burning, and pounding, in and/or around the genital region. These sensations would push anyone to seek knowledge on how to cope with horniness, but that isn’t always the case.
This condition is not globally recognized because people suffering from it are too ashamed to seek help. They have somehow convinced themselves that it is their fault or it’s related to unhealthy sex addiction. PGAD is not the same as a hypersexual disorder which is always associated with sexual desire. PGAD has nothing to do with desire.
Therefore, if you’re experiencing a constant feeling of horniness that isn’t related to your need to be pleasured, you should see a doctor. Without the help of a certified professional, you are liable to some negative psychological responses such as anxiety, frustration, and depression. It is also likely that prolonged PGAD will cause a drastic change in your interpretation of sexual pleasures; it is capable of ruining your sex life forever. Nobody deserves that.
This section is only to create awareness about persistent genital arousal disorder. It is to let you know that it is real, and it’s beyond your sole control. It’s better to ask for help and be told you’re fine than to assume you’re fine when in fact, you’re not.
Why have I been Hornier Lately?
Sexual satisfaction is an outlet for humans; a way to release built-up tension, among other reasons. It is not unusual to turn to sexual gratification instead of tackling the actual problems on the ground. When this becomes a habit, it’s only normal that you automatically become hor*ny at the first sight of an unpleasant situation. This is unhealthy, and it has more to do with the mind than your reproductive organs.
The fact is, there are many possible reasons why you’ve been hornier than usual. It could be:
– hormones (mostly in females),
– the need for comfort because your heart hurts after a break-up,
– consistent viewing of erotic images, and listening to sex-inciting songs
– an imbalance of certain brain chemicals called neurotransmitters,
– family history of heightened horniness,
– a history of sexual abuse,
– drug and alcohol abuse, etc.
However, if you have been feeling an intense drive to perform certain sexual acts to release tension, and you have been spending an unhealthy amount of time on sexual fantasies that you can’t control. You probably have been trying and failing to regulate this intense desire but having no result, you may consider seeing a specialist to confirm that you’re not going through what is called hypersexual disorder.
Hypersexuality means you’re desiring for sex almost every hour of the day. You thrive on frequent sexual satisfaction. You like feeling that way, and sometimes (a few times) you feel bad about it. Fixing an appointment with a sex therapist may be of help.
Keep in mind that desiring sex most of the time doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with you. Your sexual drive might just be higher than you think it should be. And if you’re a female, check to be sure that you’re not pregnant or having your ovulation period, as these can make you hornier at a certain time of the month.
There is always a way to manage your urges, and the best move (in most cases) is to speak to a professional. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a doctor; it could be a sex therapist or a very close friend or family member that wouldn’t outrightly judge you and would direct you to someone who can help.
How to Control My Horniness
The sources of arousal are different for everyone; seeing specific body parts, images or objects, fantasizing about something appealing, seeing a romantic movie, kissing and caressing, and the list goes on.
And of course, sometimes, sexual arousal happens without your permission. It could be through dreams with sexually arousing scenes that cause the same physical responses as it would during consciousness. It could also be as a result of having thoughts of the deep emotional affection you feel for someone else.
Arousal can also be a physical response to the rush of pleasure-related hormones coursing through your veins for a biological reason.
Whatever the source may be, its knowledge is important in learning how to cope with horniness.
Tips to Cope With Constant Feeling of Horniness
With high sexual desire and arousal, there’s a tireless need for sexual pleasure as well as a possibility for physical and emotional wear down. Although, there’s no standard or generally accepted level of arousal per person, it is normal to feel the need to be in control. Hence the question: how to control my horniness.
This is why this section gives you practical tips to control your arousal and maintain an adequate level of sexual desire.
1. Avoid Sexual Stimulation
Avoid por*nography and books, magazines, or movies with erotic features. Be mindful of the thoughts you accommodate in your mind.
If there are objects, colors, or situations that turn you on, no matter how random, make a conscious effort to avoid thinking about them. It’s all about protecting your mind; once your mind is free of possible stimulating ideas, there’ll be nothing for your body to respond to.
2. Engage in physical activities like exercise, favorite sports, or yoga
This will help keep your mind and body busy and active. It will also allow you to release any tension that you might be tempted to release with sex.
3. Engage in Intentional Distraction
The mind is a key factor in the subject of horniness. In most cases, if you can intentionally fix your mind on something else that is not sex-related or tasking to your brain, you’ll successfully quench that desire in a matter of seconds to minutes.
Distract yourself from your sexual desires by thinking about something random and neutral. Think about numbers, alphabets, how messy your room is, school, work, and the list go on. These things are instant turnoffs for a lot of people. So find your anchor and use it as much as you can.
4. Masturbation is not the way forward
You can indeed get turned on or sexually stimulated unintentionally. How do you manage this when it happens? Do you help yourself out by masturbating? Or you do something else to satisfy that urge? For someone seeking knowledge on how to cope with horniness, masturbation is not the answer.
5. Get Busy
Yes. Getting busy can help you reduce your constant desire for sex. When busy with a task that requires your attention and concentration, it becomes more difficult for your mind to drift into sex.
To be in control of anything, you need to be deliberate about it. In this case, you can volunteer to help feed the poor or join a group of people going skydiving or mountain hiking. This gives you room to interact with other people about interesting aspects of life. It also helps you stay busy and effectively redirects your line of thoughts away from sexual desire.
6. Abstain from alcohol and drugs
These substances are capable of stripping anyone of their moral and mental inhibitions. They can make you lose the sense of caution and care. Being in a condition like this is highly likely to expose you to shameful sexual actions that you’ll regret once you’re sane again. The best way to avoid this is to abstain totally from these substances as much as you can.
Another way to go about this
Last but not the least, (which is intentionally not numbered because not everyone would agree with it), is to fast and pray. That sure sounds religious. Nevertheless, the religious cycle has found that to be of help.
Fasting and prayers equal abstinence from worldly desires including food and sex. If you’re fasting, you’ll be more interested in adding more righteous deeds to your scale than entertaining uninhibited sexual fantasies. It works, so if you can, you should try it.
If you are paying attention, you’d realize that these solutions either collectively or singularly affect one or more causes of arousal. Once you can identify the causes, you can devise ways to prevent it.
Handling Horniness As A Lady After Breakup
Breakups are accompanied by a whirlwind of emotions; pain, anger, loneliness, frustration, apathy, etc. Loneliness is one of the major consequences of a break-up, and of course, it comes with a burning desire for comfort.
Sex, in a lot of cases, gives its participants momentary pleasure and comfort. It’s not unusual to want sex when you’re lonely or feel emotionally drained. In this section on how to cope with horniness, we provided you with some tips for handling horniness as a lady after a breakup.
1. Don’t go back to your Ex
This is more of advice than a tip on how to cope with horniness. It is a piece of necessary advice. There’s often the temptation to seek comfort in the arms of a familiar face after a breakup; it’s perfectly normal regardless of how long you spent in that relationship.
However, it is unhealthy for you to go down that road. Going back is not the way forward in this case. Instead of harboring thoughts like such, surround yourself with a reliable support system. Spend time with friends, family, and pets.
Your loneliness might have made you desire sex, but there are other ways to fill up that empty void without any sexual arousal.
2. Make sleep your friend
Handling horniness as a lady after a breakup is tough. Your emotions fluctuate from heightened to completely low. The process of grief in that period will be confusing, and desiring sex at the slightest trigger is not uncommon.
The truth is: so long as you’re grieving, you’re very unlikely to enjoy sex. Try sleeping for as long as your body demands of you. Sleep will make you forget your pain, and give you the strength to focus on other things when you’re awake.
3. Be careful with rebounds
Things could get complicated, really fast, if you’re not careful. Your body, your choice of care, of course, but remember that things do backfire, and you don’t want anything to come back to haunt you in the future. The sanest advice would be: don’t have rebound sex; the pleasure will be momentary and you’ll be back to feeling sad and lonely almost immediately.
Now, if you do fall into rebound sex, do not have a rebound relationship; that’s much worse. You’re being unfair to yourself and your new partner because all they are to you is a replacement of what you lost rather than a person that could take you on new adventures.
4. Practice mindfulness
Breakups suck; no doubts, and so does loneliness. It is very possible that your current emotional state drives you to experiment with several sexual preferences and activities. It would be unfair to close this section without acknowledging that possibility. Whatever your body and mind force you to do; masturbation, rebound sex, orgies, etc; do yourself a favor and always evaluate.
Do you feel bad after engaging in these activities? Do you feel an unhealthy attachment to it? Is it truly helping you heal? Only you can provide genuine answers to these questions, and when you do, trust your gut. If your gut says, “you need help”, it’s almost always right. Better safe than sorry.
What to Do When I Feel Ho*rny As A Single Guy or Lady
As a single or unmarried person, dealing with horniness is something you will face at some point in your life. Learning how to cope with horniness as a single person in a healthy way, is necessary for self-preservation. This section answers the question: what to do when I feel hor*ny as a single.
One important thing to understand about horniness is the one emotion that pushes it forward – the need to connect. When you understand this, you realize that feeling hor*ny means you’re a complete human; you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
Humans are naturally social creatures; we thrive in the presence of others, hence the constant need to connect with people on any level at all. Now that you understand that your feeling of horniness stems from the underlying human need to connect, you can find better ways to handle that need.
3 strong ways to attend to that need to connect
1. Build other kinds of relationships: Your need to connect is not going anywhere; it’ll follow you around every day. Instead of dwelling in sexual fantasies that might never become reality, why not spend that time building other connections?
And of course, sometimes, feeling hor*ny is not necessarily a need for sex; it’s a need for emotional support. You can find love and care in the arms of your friends, your teachers, and your family. Be aware of what you need, and use that energy to build something strong.
2. Connect with the world: Do you have any idea how big planet earth is? I don’t, but I’m pretty sure it’s huge. This means there are endless possibilities of things that can make your nerves tingle apart from sex. Go out – out of your comfort zone – and find the random things that make your heart sing. Nature has a lot to offer; take advantage of it. There’s more to pleasure than sexual satisfaction.
3. Strengthen your connection to God: If you’re a believer, you should understand that God is ever merciful and all-hearing. I won’t tell you that praying will reduce your sexual desires; it won’t. Yeah. It won’t; I could say that again in capital letters.
However, drawing closer to God will certainly help fill the void in you to a reasonable degree. It will keep you occupied in things that aren’t related to sexual pleasures or desires.
Try dedicating a few minutes or hours per day to God. It might be small, but it means you didn’t spend that time feeling hopelessly hor*ny; that’s a big win.
In addition to these 3 methods, you can employ some of the tips on how to control my horniness as explained above.
What to do When I Feel Hor*ny as a Man
Dealing with horniness as a man is only slightly different from the general methods of handling arousal. There are so many reasons why you feel hor*ny as a man: your hormones could be all over the place, you could be madly in love, or you could be hypersexual. Regardless of the cause, if you’ve ever wondered “what to do when I feel hor*ny as a man”, then let’s take a short journey together.
This part of how to cope with horniness gives you straightforward ways to handle horniness as a man.
1. Have sex: Very easy. If you have a sexual partner and you’re hor*ny, there’s no reason why you can’t satisfy your hunger with their help. Of course, it has to be consensual. Just because they’re your partner doesn’t mean they’ll always be in the mood at the same time as you.
There are many articles on topics like how to get in the mood fast or how to turn her on in seconds. You can subtly suggest that for your partner or use some other tricks to facilitate their arousal. If your partner remains unwilling, there are other ways to handle your horniness…
2. Get physical: No, I don’t mean hit your partner. I mean, engage your body in some physical activities. Go for a walk, run, or jog – your choice. Do push-ups and sit-ups. Go to the gym and let it all out on a punching bag. Any activity that makes you break a sweat is very much capable of releasing any sexual tension you might be feeling.
3. Take a cold shower: This doesn’t usually work on its own. What you want to do is direct your mind to something neutral while taking that cold shower. Get yourself distracted and focus on all the things that turn you off. Of course, you can practice the distraction technique without a cold shower; the shower is there to release tension and make you feel refreshed. It will serve as a soothing balm to your aching arousal.
4. Engage your mind: This is almost similar to getting physical except that it might not make you sweat. If you’re the kind of guy that isn’t really into physical sports, you should consider other kinds of sports – video or board games. Video games would be preferable because it allows you to be aggressive while planning your next best move in your head. That aggressiveness on the gamepad is a good way to let off sexual tension from your body.
Sexual arousal/horniness is not a disease. It is a normal human body feeling that is triggered by several different scenarios. Frequent and constant feeling of horniness, however, are conditions that should be taken seriously and treated accordingly. Like other medical conditions, neglect can lead to more severe mental health conditions, increased substance abuse, and possible arrests for sexual offenses.
It is also crucial to be mindful of your vital emotions so you can easily identify when things are starting to get out of hand. Being single for a long time, broken up from a long relationship, or just feeling lonely even when you’re in a relationship, are situations that can lead to unhealthy and/or heightened sexual urges and arousal. It is therefore important to have basic knowledge of how to get turned off and how to cope with horniness in general.
Seeking help for things as personal and intimate as your sex life can be difficult and maybe embarrassing. When you do find the courage to reach out to someone, try to set aside the embarrassment and focus on getting better. You’re not alone. There’s someone out there waiting to help you by guiding you on how to cope with horniness.