For starters, you don’t exude confidence merely by the fling of your hair, or by the swing of your waist; neither do you show off confidence by the bait of your eyelids nor by the bling of your jewelry. Most times too, education does not guarantee that you’ll be confident.
Let me tell you this, not every woman is confident. Yes, she can be book smart but lacks confidence. Look around you, ever noticed how some very intellectually sound individuals are very shy and timid people? This is to tell you that confidence goes way deeper than the physical attributes or qualifications.
If you’re very eager to learn or know how to be a confident woman, or how to be a confident girl around guys, then, be prepared for the tedious but rewarding journey ahead. This is no child’s play. Becoming a confident woman will have you intentionally ‘shed’ a lot of unedifying ‘skin’ and consciously build yourself up into a woman with unwavering confidence, even in the face of challenges.
As a lady, latch unto this post as an infant latches unto its mother’s breast, because, I shall walk you through some surest and doable ways to becoming a confident woman.
Also, it is worthy of note that,
There are no short cuts to building confidence, neither are there cut and join ways to it. For a good result, you must follow the step by step ground rules or nothing else.
Again, you don’t just have to be in the know. Practice, they said, makes perfect. That is, it is not enough to read alone, you have to live by these rules, practice them out, even when they’re not conducive. Breathe them, let them become part of your everyday life. Then watch as you transform into a super confident and attractive woman. Oh, you’ve not heard that confidence is attractive? News Flash!
As we proceed, buckle up and be expectant. The ride will not only be educative, your entertainment is certain too. You sure will leave here knowing how to be a confident woman. Best believe that!
Who Is A Confident Woman?
The question on a lot of people’s lips has been, ”who is a confident woman?” Now, the answers you seek are not farfetched. Drop your distractions and follow me, let me guide you to the right and beneficial path.
In a very clear language,
1. She Stands Out
A confident woman is one who conspicuously stands out of the rest. You do not need a soothsayer to help you identify a confident woman. The minute she walks into the room, the air around her screams confidence, even before she opens her mouth to talk.
Confidence sure can’t be hidden, it is not like a cloak you adorn or remove as you wish. A confident woman is a lady who has intentionally gone through the process of personal development.
2. She Is Calm
A lady who has mastered the art of calmness, despite the turmoil happening around her is a confident lady. She would always be found unruffled whilst brainstorming on how to get any possible solution to the problem at hand. Like a friend would say, a confident woman doesn’t look like the challenges she’s going through. She maintains her calmness in the troubled sea.
She is also known as a solution provider.
3. She Does Not Crave Attention
She doesn’t crave attention. A lady with confidence does not go around looking for who will give her attention. She understands that everyone is busy and facing their battles.
Attention seekers reek of desperation, she knows that too well and avoids being associated with that. Also, she knows she commands attention with what she carries within, why run around for attention, then.
4. She Has Empathy and Integrity
Her empathy towards her fellow human cannot be questioned. She doesn’t downplay another’s pain or gain. She knows the right words to use per time, to edify and salvage a bad situation.
She’s quick to help up another person, and she isn’t threatened by anyone’s success.
Her word could be taken to the bank, any time of the day. For her, her reputation comes first before any material gain. Her word is always her bond.
5. She Sets and Achieves Goals
A confident woman is one who does not only set achievable goals for herself, she sets her mind to it, goes ahead to overcome any obstacle on her way, and go on to cross her last milestone.
Even while facing failures, she doesn’t let the experience deter her because she knows failures are only but temporary setbacks.
She doesn’t leave a place without leaving her good mark of remembrance. She makes sure she touches as many lives as possible in a positive way. Even after she’s gone, people will still tell the story and sing her praises.
6. She Does Not Fear Criticism
A confident woman doesn’t fear criticism. In fact, she embraces it with a smile. She knows that nobody is perfect, including her. She understands that mistakes can be made but growth can come out of it, after all. The same way she wouldn’t waste a second to call out a fault and help the person become a better being and uphold integrity.
7. She Knows When to Say No
A confident woman is not a tossed-to-and-fro lady. She knows how and when to put her foot down, and when to also reconsider and review her options.
She has top-notch people’s skills and uses that to her advantage whenever the need arises.
Not just that, she respects herself and doesn’t joke with boundaries. She is sensitive enough to know when to draw the line and call it quits whenever the situation becomes unfavorable.
She respects others and doesn’t invade them when it isn’t necessary.
8. She Hates Gossip
She abhors gossip and strongly dislikes it. Why waste your time gossiping about things that are not your business, when you can channel that time to doing productive things?
You won’t find a confident woman exchanging words anywhere with anybody, it’s far below her class and she won’t stoop any low for that, no matter the provocation.
She is positively an all-rounder. One you would love to have in your circle.
So, What is a confident woman like, in a relationship? You might ask. Don’t rush, we are moving towards that part of her life, gradually. Still latch on.
Related Post: How to Stay happy and Positive Always
How to Be A Confident Woman In A Relationship
Wonder no more. How to be a confident woman in a relationship is no rocket science.
1. Love Yourself
Firstly, a confident woman loves herself well enough. Loving yourself will help you know when you are not loved right by another person.
Know this, how you love yourself, unconsciously teaches others and your partner how to love you right. Not only that, self-love builds confidence. People treat you the way they think you deserve until you stand up to them and show them how. Showing them how, not by nagging, but by loving yourself boundlessly.
2. Do Not Settle
Remember, she loves herself already, before deciding to enter into a relationship. This means that a confident woman would never, for anything, walk into any relationship without weighing her pros and cons.
She knows who she is and what she carries. She’ll not settle for any relationship hastily, nor gulp down just anything from her partner that would make the relationship toxic to her.
A clear reason why any man she decides to date, must possess all the qualities of a confident, gentleman. She wouldn’t be caught in anything that can drain her mentally, or leave her questioning and doubting herself. Never!
Not only that, a woman with confidence will never lower her standards just for the mere idea of staying in a relationship.
3. Be Emotionally Intelligent
A confident woman walks into a relationship, armed with emotional intelligence. She has her emotions under perfect control. Mental weakness can’t be associated with her. She maintains calmness and would never be seen exhibiting unnecessary emotional outbursts. She listens to understand and not to reply.
She doesn’t let any negativity get to her emotional state.
4. Know When To Play
A confident woman knows how to schedule her time. She understands that her relationship is as important as her job. So, she balances her job and her social life.
She finds ways to spice up her relationship and create happy memories for herself and her partner. She knows when to drop business aside and let her hair down to play.
5. Be Sensitive
A woman with confidence knows exactly what to bring to the table and when it’s needed. This makes her irresistible to her partner. She contributes towards making the relationship successful by learning her partner’s love language and applying what works for him.
She is always sensitive to his needs and knows when to step in to fulfill them. Be it financial, physical, or emotional needs. She gives maximum respect to her partner while making sure that it is reciprocated in equal measures.
A woman with confidence does not solely depend on her partner for all her financial needs. She knows her own money acquires her respect and freedom to get what she needs when she needs it.
6. Know Your Worth
A confident woman is smart enough to know that she is a whole and complete being, so she takes the bull by the horn, the minute her relationship turns into something negative. She speaks up whenever she notices a foul play from her partner and demands an answer because she knows honesty and transparency is her right.
She’ll not allow herself to be taken for granted, neither would she be unnecessarily demanding. She knows the balance.
7. Be Trust Worthy
A confident woman is attractive, her partner derives joy in introducing her to his friends and colleagues and showing her off to the world.
He is not scared of letting her take major decisions in their relationship, that’s because she has sound reasoning ability and exhibits great mental strengths. She’s never scared to stand in the gap for both of them.
Lucky and favored is that man, dating a confident woman because peace of mind shall never elude him.
How to Make Yourself Beautiful and Attractive
Truth be told, a pretty face does not exactly guarantee beauty. Actually, a pretty face and a great body matter, but being beautiful and attractive transcends that. I know you might have been trying to figure out how to make yourself beautiful and attractive, then, pay attention to this.
1. Hold Intelligent Conversations
Confidence makes one beautiful and attractive, no doubt about that.
Not only that, your mental state adds to your beauty as well. Being able to engage or hold down intelligent conversations as a lady makes you become the center of attraction. That’s the absolute truth.
A confident woman exudes wisdom and maturity as she speaks and communicates.
2. Be Smart
People are always drawn to smart women. A woman that is blazing trails in her niche, even in a field tagged, ‘male-dominated’, is the perfect example of beautiful and attractive. She leads and clears the path for others to trail.
3. Dress Well
How do you dress? Remember, you are addressed the way you are dressed. You do not need to expose the sensitive parts of your body before you become beautiful and attractive. A well-dressed lady commands respect and beauty.
Know your kind of skin and what suits it. Always go for the cream that won’t be harsh on your skin or remove your natural color. A good skin tone makes you beautiful even without any form of make-up.
Build yourself to the point of getting comfortable in your skin. Even though you have to wear make-up, let it not be something you can’t do without. Heavy and unblended makeup removes beauty far from you. Let your make-up be nice and complementing.
Your hair shouldn’t be neglected too. Make beautiful hairstyles that are devoid of drama. First of all, you are looking good for YOU, before any other person. Do not go with the flow. Know what works for you and what you are comfortable in. A confident attractive woman makes hairstyles that accentuate her beauty all the time, and not because, it is trending.
A smelly hair is a total turn off too, you know that. Wash your hair regularly and let it smell nice. Never be caught unfresh, even at home. Always be comported and presentable at all times. You never know when an opportunity will come knocking.
Mind you, looking attractive is not always as expensive as many think. You just have to learn some basic dressing etiquettes and be creative with whatever you have.
4. Your Words Matter
The way you speak, speaks volumes about you. The words you use, especially while handling disagreements between you and others matter a lot.
Uncouth words should never have a place in your speech. The tone of your voice should not depict crassness. Let your words and tone be a healing balm to a wounded soul.
A lady with class and confidence is very attractive and beautiful.
Are you still paying attention?
How to Recognize A Confident Woman
Even the click of her heels tells you that a confident woman is in the building. Like I said earlier, you do not need a soothsayer to tell you that a confident woman just arrived. She moves around with an air of authority surrounding her.
1. She Is Bold
She’s as bold as a lion and speaks up for herself and the vulnerable around her.
While in a conversation, she maintains eye contact and never gets intimidated by any caliber of person. Her body language doesn’t leave you threatened or discouraged except it is called for. She gets you relaxed and comfortable while in her before.
A confident woman has a firm grip of a handshake, this shows strength, confidence, and boldness. She walks with her shoulders squared up and her chins up, with a healthy dose of pride without appearing arrogant.
2. She Coordinates Herself
Just like the water duck that looks calm on the surface but paddles furiously with her feet inside the water, a confident woman will never be seen physically ruffled by problems or challenges.
She knows problems abound but she’s always equal to the task. No single bone of weakness can be found in her body and she doesn’t entertain weakness around her.
3. She ‘s Humble
She is loyal, humble, kind, empathetic, and never forgets to use the magic words: “please”, “thank you”, “I’m sorry“.
4. She Helps Others
A confident woman never puts another person down with her words or actions. Instead, she helps everyone around her to fly and become their best. She’s not intimidated by anyone’s success, because she knows that the sky is wide enough to accommodate everybody who’s ready to fly.
I guess you’re picking up points on how to recognize a confident woman around you?
My earnest desire is also for you to build up yourself and become a confident woman too.
How to Be A Confident Woman At Work
1. Master Your Job
The top point on the secret book of how to be a confident woman at work is to be a master at what you do. That, my friend, forms the bedrock of gaining confidence in what you do or where you work. You can’t be confident when you have refused growth and mastery.
This is not to downplay the time of little beginnings and baby steps. As a matter of fact, everyone was once a novice. That expert you admire today wasn’t born an expert, she was once an amateur. She once made mistakes too.
Now, what makes an expert is embracing growth, and with growth comes confidence. This growth I speak of takes time and process. A woman that wants to be confident at work goes for training in her field. She intentionally climbs the stairs of growth, becomes very diligent at work, and never procrastinates.
Once she builds herself to the top, she can never be intimidated by any challenge that throws itself at her table.
2. Develop Your Leadership Skills
A woman that wants to be confident at work doesn’t sit around and wait for a manner to fall from heaven. She develops her leadership skills and social skills. This would help her relate better with her clients or her customers. With her social skills, a confident woman can deal with the worst person and come out unscathed.
3. Take Criticism Well
Taking constructive criticism well, and working on your flaws is another way of becoming confident at work. As a confident woman, you don’t sit and look for who to blame for your mistakes, instead, you take responsibility, put on your gloves, and work things out.
Even when you continue making mistakes, keep on correcting them, and keep getting better. If that way isn’t giving you the results needed, look for another way. There are lots of options for you if you look closely and intently.
4. Take Up Challenges
Take up hard tasks and challenges at work. Nothing builds confidence faster than achievements and accolades. Be the woman that solved that problem. Be a solution provider. Always remember that time is of great essence.
So, try to achieve that goal at a set time. Be fast in providing help and solutions, but, never ever do a half hazard job in a bid to be called the first. Take your time but don’t sleep on it.
When you crack that hard puzzle at work, relax for a minute and bask in the praises being showered at you. Tell yourself that you are unstoppable. If you work alone, take out time and indulge yourself after a job well-done. One of the well-known confidence boosters is the knowledge of, “I came, I saw, I conquered!”
5. Affirm Yourself
Always look yourself in the mirror and affirm yourself. Tell yourself that you can. Praise yourself. Encourage yourself. Look yourself in the eye and shower words of love and blessings upon you. Tell yourself, you’re not a failure.
Tell you that you will get it right, eventually. Never criticize yourself or judge yourself harshly, you don’t need that. Look in the mirror and show yourself some love. Trust me, you are listening.
6. Read Widely
How’s your reading habit? Have you come across the story of a confident woman in any book? Reading about great women in and outside your niche can help you build confidence. Knowing what they did differently that got them to where they are currently can be a guide for you too.
Never neglect the power of reading; make it a habit. Good books have a way of impacting greatly into our lives, more than we know. Read and read, make it a hobby, let it become how you spend your free time. Fall in love with reading. I bet you, your life won’t remain the same.
Things A Confident Woman Don’t Do
We’ve been looking at how to be a confident woman and the traits of a confident woman. Now, is the time to know what she can’t do. Yes, the world is her runway, but there are certain things she shouldn’t be caught doing, even unawares, as a confident woman. Not only will those things drag down her self-worth, her life generally as a confident woman will take a bad hit.
So, do well to pay rapt attention, to know how to avoid these things that can turn all your hard work into shambles.
1. She Does Not Lie
A confident woman doesn’t tell lies. She is too confident in herself and surrounding to let something as little as a lie tints her image. She takes the blame when it’s her fault and accepts her mistakes without flinching. She always speaks the truth with a straight face, no matter whose ox is gored.
Integrity is one of her watchwords at any point in time. Speaking and upholding the truth is one of the numerous signs of a bold woman.
2. She Does Not Joke With Her Mental Health
She doesn’t put herself in a position that injures her mental health. She won’t keep any kind of relationship that depreciates her being, be it social or intimate.
A confident woman is not selfish but she puts herself first. She knows when a job is more draining than gainful. She doesn’t hesitate to walk away from anything that threatens her peace, no matter what it is.
3. She Does Not Bow To Pressure
She is never a pushover. She knows when to put her foot down and say no, without feeling bad about it. She is aware that she alone understands what’s good for her, more than any other person, and also decides when to accept an opinion or a proposal. She does not bow to societal pressure. I mean, that’s how to be a confident woman, I tell you!
4. She Does Not Beg to Be Loved
A confident woman does not fight another woman over a man. Like, have you seen a confident woman before? She doesn’t have time for that! A woman of confidence is well aware of herself and knows she’s the prize.
You see, the minute a man dating a sexually confident woman becomes so myopic and decides to misbehave around her, she takes a walk and won’t bother looking back because, she knows her worth, and her peace of mind can’t be toyed with by any human.
This, here too, is how to tell if a woman is confident.
5. She Does Not Stop Growing
A confident woman doesn’t stop growing mentally, spiritually, financially, and socially. What else fans her confidence flame if not growth? No part of her lags behind, she develops herself in every possible way.
No, she doesn’t need anyone to motivate or remind her to add to herself. That’s why she’s teachable. She keeps learning to improve and add to what she already knows. She is never a “jack of all trades, master of none”. Her doors of learning are always kept wide open and she strives to master that which she sets her eyes to do.
6. She Does Not Neglect Her Body
A confident woman doesn’t let herself go. What I mean is this, she doesn’t only take care of her brain and leave her body to go south. She finds time to take adequate care of her physical body and appearance.
Her body is also her priority. She pays attention to her body and eats right. She knows that looking good is good business and confidence dwell there. She appreciates her body and doesn’t allow any flaw she can’t undo make her insecure.
She appears neat at all times, wears comfortable clothes and shoes, according to the occasion. And also carry herself with grace, fit for a queen.
Remember this, in your world, you are the queen. Rule your world with confidence and boldness. Always be conscious of that. You alone have the power to let someone else tell you otherwise or bring you down from your throne. So, do not hand over that power to anyone. Be you. Be bold. Be assertive. Be confident!
Lastly, learn more ways on how to be a confident woman, and keep working on that confidence. Do not forget that, it’s a trait you acquired. So, keep doing what will sustain it. There are people out there with the sole aim of trumping on other’s confidence. Be watchful; do not give such people a chance in your circle.
Build up yourself. Become confident. The world will be underneath your feet. Fly!
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